Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, I was working as a valet when an old guy came up and wanted us to park his car. He said he had an accident. We looked in the car and saw poop all over the seat. We still had to park the car. FML
Today, my boss reported to the police that a suspicious car has been parked outside the store late at night. I walked outside and my car was gone. He had my car towed. FML
Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML
Today, I work maintenance at a warehouse store. I had to clean the men's stall because someone had pooped on the seat, the floor, and got some on the wall. When I took my break, I noticed that my fellow maintenance coworker had poop on his pants and shoes. I then realized that I just cleaned up his “mess.” FML
Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML
Today, while I was working in a grocery store, a costumer decide to take a dump on the ground after I told him he couldn’t access to restrooms because my boss closed them due to COVID restrictions. FML
Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble. I even bought her a bottle of water. After the production manager decided to fire her on the spot, she went out in the parking lot and broke into several cars, including mine. FML
Today, I was driving my car when I suddenly got diarrhea and shat my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then one of my workmates saw my car and came to say hello. She saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
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Top comments
momo3p 22
These damn bird people
Avi8r 22
Well the customer is always right...
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Comments (42)
nomasuras 17
Sounds like you picked a shitty place to park
Colon_Man 17
"Dad! I told you to stop bothering me at work!"
elppa_fml 10
And? He wasn't doing it on your car so who cares
finalyearsofhate 22
I see you haven't figured out this reading thing yet...
MariaGiovanni 25
Did you read the first three sentences then choose not to read the last one? I just don't get how this could possibly be difficult to process. "That car was mine."
imStoneCold 7
Are you ******* retarded?
rialbybba 19
Okay but why was it your job to investigate? That would be a manager's duty.
Colon_Man 17
Ha ha! Duty.
rgetting 24
Sorry, didn't mean to hit the UDI button.
finalyearsofhate 22
well, at least you'll have a funny story from it later.
corky1992 33
That sounds like something the manager should have handled.
Love_L0ST 13
I would have lost my job... The **** was he taking.
yerawizardlizzy 27
Why couldn't he deal with it? He's the manager and you're on break.
M3DO 24
Shitty situation