Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad found and read my diary. Most of the entries were about how my father didn't respect my privacy. Then he phoned my aunt and read her passages from it. FML
Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML
Today, I rummaged around in the attic, looking for old pictures of me and my family, so I could make a surprise collage. Instead, I found my dad's old journals, talking about how desperately he didn't want a kid, and how he wanted to leave my mother more and more every day that passed since I was born. FML
Today, I found out that the person sending me secret love letters was actually my dad, who felt sorry for me. FML
Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML
Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML
Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML
Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML
Today, feeling very distant from my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML
Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML
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Top comments
Mrjangleybits 1
Well, he sounded awesome IMO
fylx100 19
Sorry OP. But don't let that bother you too much. At least you complained in your diary rather than annoying your family in person, right?
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Comments (75)
Mrjangleybits 1
Well, he sounded awesome IMO
heythere131630 9
If he had said anything else this would have been an inspirational movie instead of an FML.
ampm428 5
Dad stands for damn ass dick I'll start decks especially if they have boys young man for children Hints the reason why younger man Older man are so damn stubborn to go get help for depression etc.
Neonemerld 21
17, what the hell were you even trying to say? Did you just slam your fingers against the keyboard and let autocorrect do the rest?
zandalee 20
I think 17 has been inhaling the glue again...
wickedninja918 1
FML team please either make 17's comment make sence or moderate it all he did was insult op's dead dad and say things that make no sence (sorry for misspelling sence idk how its supposed to be spelled)
Axipiter 24
Google translate rarely works well...
KindaFunnyRight 8
IMO? What does that mean? Please do not down vote due to my lack of knowledge I'd like to know
SoMuchSnailGame 3
In my ostrich
SammyS2012 21
62- It means in my opinion. Not trying to be mean or anything, but look at urbandictionary. It's helped me so much in figuring out what the heck people are trying to say. Usually, they have texting/chatting abbreviations. And it's kind of fun/disturbing to see what else is on that website
teemooegan 9
hey we all gotta let it all out somewhere! better your dad found it than anyone else..
pickles1994 18
Agreed, but how would OPs thoughts make him an asshole... Whiney maybe... But asshole that's just mean D:
ninja8537 10
At least you have something from your deceased parent.. Btw, my condolences.
fylx100 19
Sorry OP. But don't let that bother you too much. At least you complained in your diary rather than annoying your family in person, right?
TwitchingNebula 17
Apparently not...
Kinoster 20
That sounds like something my dad would do as a joke. FYL OP
Dixbfloppin 11
Kind of a weird thing to do as a joke if you ask me.
Kinoster 20
It's like what one of the commenters below said, he was most likely trying to give me a thick skin.
UncleMuscles 5
As a joke, I'd leave someone an armor set and a sword, telling them in a note, "You are dovahkiin, dragonborn!"
MrsDruidess 23
it probably was a joke of some sort, I am sure OP's father thought it would be found in his life time, no way anyone would want to leave that for their son after they have gone. Sorry for your loss OP, just try to put it together with his personality, see what you think it really was, a dig at you, a joke or something else
bizarre_ftw 22
See, I don't want to insult your dead dad or make you any more upset but damn he's an ass, I hope he didn't **** you up too bad, people like that that think any emotion a guy portrays proves he's a "pussy" or a "wimp" really have no place raising kids Also, was your dad by any chance named Red, and could your last name possibly be Foreman?
Tdrizzzzzly 19
Maybe if his foot was in OP's ass
bladedrose 3
Or maybe OP is really just a whiny asshole. Lol ^.^
sens3sfailing 25
We gather here today to bid farewell to red foreman who died of a heart attack triggered by the joy he felt while shoving his foot up his now incredibly butt hurt son Eric, after finding his diary. Congratulations Eric, it's all you're fault...pussy.
pradip 26
I totally agree with you
enormouselephant 15
Hopefully it's something you are laughing about and remembering his funny comments rather than taking it too much to heart, I think it's sweet you had a diary.
jweezy89 4
Or gay...
BunBunBabe 8
I am sure he meant it lovingly even if he sounded like a dick, dads think its their job to make their son thick skinned
MormonPornstar 7
'Whiny Asshole' in no universe, is caring. And there's a fine line between toughening your child and mentally scarring and destroying your child's confidence.
turkturkington 13
'Whiny asshole' in our universe, can be caring. And there's a fine line between being a whiny asshole and someone who actually makes a difference in society. If there was anything in the diary that warranted his offspring needing real help, I'm sure he wouldn't have simply written that. Some of the best love I've received from parents and friends has been tough love, 'cause sometimes you need to not complain about your dad being a dick 'cause he wanted you to finish your homework, or hating your mum's guts for telling you to tidy your room. Being a youth worker, I know these are issues children face. The solution is getting then to realise that they are NOT issues, and focusing on the ones that they need to.
TwitchingNebula 17
Seeing how this diary was written some years ago, and how OP has written the FML, I would venture a guess as to his father found the diary well after OP stopped writing in it and OP found it well after dad stuck note inside of it. Even if the dad put the note in shortly after OP stopped writing in it, thing and people very well could have changed in that time. Not a big deal really. OP needs to just let it go and get over it.
Tdrizzzzzly 19
That one hurts.. I'm very sorry for your loss, OP. Can't imagine seeing that written in there
Dixbfloppin 11
Treasure that note as something to remember him by.