Today, I spent an hour deleting 70 of my status posts from the past week so I don't look so addicted to Facebook. Damn, I need a life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML
Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, Facebook stopped working and I realized how emotionally dependent I am on social media. FML
Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML
Today, I realized I've been sinking into a deep depression, ignoring all my friends, and don't know what to do with my life anymore. This is all because I gave up Facebook for lent. FML
Today, after deactivating my Facebook page 4 days ago for stalking reasons - as in me stalking my ex - I reactivated it for approximately 3 minutes to see what his status update was, then deactivated it again. I'm just THAT pathetic. FML
Today, most of my day was spent repeatedly checking to see how well my Reddit posts have been performing as of late. I think I need to find a hobby. FML
Today, I put on makeup for a picture. My Facebook profile picture. That's how much of a life I actually have. FML
Today, I realized that I lie to my friends online and go "offline" for hours at a time so it appears that I have a life outside of the internet. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
You post (on average) 10 status updates a day? At that rate, you don't have to worry about people seeing that you don't have a social life, because everybody has already taken notice of that and hidden you from their news feed.
insanesna1l 0
did you post this as your new facebook status?
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Comments (115)
AunteyN 4
You can't F your life if you don't have one.
roadie42 21
I don't understand why people insist on posting a Facebook status every five minutes. If I wanted a constant stream of updates on your life, I'd move in with you and follow you around all day. Maybe consider using Twitter instead?
egorus 0
Get a life! BTW, 70 posts?!? How the **** do you do that?!?!?!?
KHIAB 1
Seriously? I update my status maybe every 2 or 3 weeks. I do go on facebook every day though. For MOUSEHUNT!!!!!!
LissaMccracken 23
Facebook irritates me so YDI
rad100567 8
You posted 70+ ******* things in less than a week?