Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
Today, after breaking my leg, I'm unable to put any weight on it whatsoever. Our bedroom? Upstairs. Our only bathroom? Basement. My husband thought it would be a great idea to leave me alone and unable to walk to go babysit his nieces. I had to piss in a bucket. FML
Today, my neighbour decided to get high while leaving his bathtub running, resulting in passing out and starting a flood in the hallways. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML
Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML
Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML
Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
stronghand0331 17
That's not laziness, that is pure innovation.
IFightFoos 0
Idiot? That man is a genius!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (240)
Valle79 5
Tell him "It puts the pee in the toilet, or it gets the hose again!"
Sparkadelic 4
You obviously don't know what FML is for. Like, besides this guy being utterly ******* epic, how does it even affect you?
fthku 13
I should say having a huge bucket of piss in a room affects anyone in the immediate area.
boatkicker 5
Not only is there a large bucket of piss (which will start to smell pretty horrible after few hours, for people who don't realize why this sucks) but OP is probably going to be the one who has to dump it out. Beside the fact that room mate could play the "I'm sick, pity me" card, he's also got teh back up of "I'm sick, and weak right now, and I don't have the strength to lift that bucket, and dump it out."
Doortje 30
Put superglue on the siphon.
brewedintexas96 0
Hahahahahaha that's ******. but hilarious!
dixieoutlaw 0
What a lazy ass. You got to be dying to even began to justify that. Time to kick this fool to the curve.
sarebear987 0
I believe you mean "curb"...
violetmusic 7
EPIC! i give him credit for that. If I were you I would take the other end of the siphon, hang it very high so that when he pees it ends up back at him. bty what does he do when he has to crap?
Zepode 0
Truth, give credit where credit it due. You live with an undiscovered genius.
freenuggets 0
smart guy
maybaybe 0
That is disgusting. I feel sorry for you, OP :(
allmidnighteyes 11
What a motherfucking innovator.
DocBastard 40
Midnight, where the **** have you been? Welcome back.
allmidnighteyes 11
I went outside during my 5 weeks of winter break. Haha. But I'm back in school/back on FML now!
ImaginaryFoe 1
What Doc said. Glad you're back.
Acousticpixie14 6
Nice to meet you [:
muffpuncher 0
you call him an idiot, I call it ingenuity.