Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
Today, after breaking my leg, I'm unable to put any weight on it whatsoever. Our bedroom? Upstairs. Our only bathroom? Basement. My husband thought it would be a great idea to leave me alone and unable to walk to go babysit his nieces. I had to piss in a bucket. FML
Today, my neighbour decided to get high while leaving his bathtub running, resulting in passing out and starting a flood in the hallways. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML
Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML
Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML
Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML
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Top comments
stronghand0331 17
That's not laziness, that is pure innovation.
IFightFoos 0
Idiot? That man is a genius!
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Comments (240)
birdyu7 5
He sounds like a genius!! :D
bandgeek0934 0
Go outside and turn off the water hose ;D
saleha97 4
HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's the funniest thing i've ever heard! I totally want to try that :D except for the fact that I don't have a penis...
AjaxF 0
You're welcome to use mine. .I could stick it inside you. . .deep inside you (really deeep) How you use it would be totally up to you though. As long as I get it back fully functional!
Acousticpixie14 6
You're disgusting.
IneffableLullaby 13
Wow, now that's creativity. I think he might deserve a medal for that. :)
whoisthisgirl 4
connect it to his water supply! lol I dont know :P
Zebidee 9
Swap the connections, then stand back for some hilarity!
banana_buddy 6
U mean he should connect the other end of the siphon to the hose so that he can drink his own piss.
Zebidee 9
Swap them BOTH over, so you have the 'drink his own piss' part that you suggested, PLUS the added bonus of the hose going on full blast in his crotch.
Mervin22 6
Idiot. that's pure genius!
notsoluckypup 12
Hmm...doesn't sound that bad to me...
perdix 31
Are you sure the siphon is just being used for urination? Once he realizes that a siphon can provide gentle suction, he might ditch his girlfriend and never take it off.
fuckmelifelike 1
i dont think he has a girlfriend...
fellie_fml 0
FYL? Your room mate is awesome!