Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML
Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
Today, I was having my morning coffee while getting ready for work. I grabbed clothes off the floor to throw in the hamper. I accidentally threw my full coffee instead. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Next time you're cold, try sticking your head in the oven.
anorexicbarbie 8
Chicken
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Comments (103)
cmac86 24
someone's a ditzy blonde.
banananut 0
A panini toaster? You fool. When I'm cold I just hop in the microwave.
penfoldsman 0
you are an absolute dumb ass, for sure ydi
jonny2x4 0
So you couldn't just stick your hands in your pants like everyone else? It costs you nothing and you certainly wouldn't burn yourself.
nerdsgetmehot 23
At least it didn't grill your foot. Are you related to Michael Scott?
Sirin_fml 47
Test.
Shinygirlnz 1
Today I was cold at work so I sat on a toaster, then I realised I'm a complete moron.
LolzRoyce23 0
what kind of cheese did you use?
LGrnGeaux 0
If you can't take the heat.... Get your damn hand out of the f***ing panini toaster. Dipshit
lovecartman 0
reminds me of the office:)
Djosef_fml 0
Well, OP, it's time to paninic.