Today, on Facebook, I realized I had over 500 friends. I told my one friend and she changed her status to, "How can Dan have over 500 Facebook friends? Nobody even likes him." It got 42 likes and twenty comments that basically said, "Agreed." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML
Today, I went on Facebook to find that my little brother had messed with my profile. He wrote on my status that I'm a piece of shit, I have no life, and several other nasty and perverted things. Underneath, it said 26 of my friends liked this. I'm new to Facebook. So far I have 26 friends. FML
Today, I logged on to Facebook and had 64 notifications. I thought that perhaps I was popular. But no, it was my ten year old sister, liking 64 of my pictures. FML
Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML
Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML
Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of "likes" I have on my Facebook statuses. FML
Today, I discovered the piggy bank I made a Facebook account for has more friends than me. It has 12. FML
Today, I asked out my best friend via facebook graffiti. He then accidentally wrote his rejection as his status instead of on my wall. More people liked his status than the number of friends I have on facebook. FML
Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML
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Top comments
ChurchofFagenism 0
500 Facebook Friends is not the same as actual friends...
DrConstantine 0
Oh no, not Facebook! If you let Facebook judge your life, you should let a shotgun decide your future.
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Comments (139)
Inksoul 0
Awe. Well, this may seem creepy.. but I don't dislike you ^^
davidomke 0
that reminds me of the 30 Rock when Ken says "Mr. Jordan, we're best friends right?" "We're not best friends, we just happen to know each other"
Sportsfan86 3
That would suck if it was true. If nobody likes you how can you tell your "friend"
Satans_Taint 0
lmfao i think you need to take a good hard look @ yourself
Pyrbaby 0
How can you add that many people? I have like, 70, and most of them I don't speak to on a regular basis. At least I know each and every one of them well.
keywestlov 0
yeahhhh! kevin nealon!
footiedrummer 0
i love that guy !!!!
element01 0
you should murder her!
clockworklolita 3
And there's no chance at all that they could be joking? :/
brianjman14 23
lmfao hahahaha go the girl, she rocks
NobodysLover 0
They're just playin w/ you, trust me :)
pommeblossom 0
I'm so sorry.