Today, on Facebook, I realized I had over 500 friends. I told my one friend and she changed her status to, "How can Dan have over 500 Facebook friends? Nobody even likes him." It got 42 likes and twenty comments that basically said, "Agreed." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML
Today, I went on Facebook to find that my little brother had messed with my profile. He wrote on my status that I'm a piece of shit, I have no life, and several other nasty and perverted things. Underneath, it said 26 of my friends liked this. I'm new to Facebook. So far I have 26 friends. FML
Today, I logged on to Facebook and had 64 notifications. I thought that perhaps I was popular. But no, it was my ten year old sister, liking 64 of my pictures. FML
Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML
Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML
Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of "likes" I have on my Facebook statuses. FML
Today, I discovered the piggy bank I made a Facebook account for has more friends than me. It has 12. FML
Today, I asked out my best friend via facebook graffiti. He then accidentally wrote his rejection as his status instead of on my wall. More people liked his status than the number of friends I have on facebook. FML
Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML
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Top comments
ChurchofFagenism 0
500 Facebook Friends is not the same as actual friends...
DrConstantine 0
Oh no, not Facebook! If you let Facebook judge your life, you should let a shotgun decide your future.
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Comments (139)
doubleAbattery 0
You're probably one of those stupid people who adds people you don't even know just to be able to say that you have five hundred friends. I just don't get people like that. I'm happy only having 50 or so friends, because I know and, for the most part, like each and every one of them.
lvl100snorlax 0
lol
lobby0ne 0
Failbook! Get out already!
Kankanmaim 0
Awww.... well that's only 62 people MAX. Out of 500 that's not bad at all.
xyourstruly3 0
well .. u should post .. well atleast I have more friends then you
BeeSkwaird 0
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say online harassment does matter and it does hurt, even if people didn't intend to hurt anyone. We should think about how our online play hurts others. And gone are the days when it could be assumed that all online activity can be written off as play; that line is long since blurred, and we can't let cyber anonymity give us free license to act as if there aren't human beings on the other end.
oogyboogy 6
Waaahh *sob* waaahhh online harrasment!!! Waaahhh
BeeSkwaird 0
You okay there? :-P
Intoxicunt 6
Maybe Bee expects people to not be assholes for the sake of being assholes...? I'm not gonna say it is realistic to expect that, but being a jerk still isn't right.
heartlessagony 0
Well BeeSkwaird, Dan could always report cyber bullying. There's no need to go so extreme.
NachoG4LFE 0
oucchh
feed_the_ducks 0
Ouch that blows :/ I totally agree with BeeSkwaird .
abercrombie_g 1
What a bitch
USMC_Marine 0
Why would you tell your friend to do that? You don't have to brag about Internet friends