Today, on Facebook, I realized I had over 500 friends. I told my one friend and she changed her status to, "How can Dan have over 500 Facebook friends? Nobody even likes him." It got 42 likes and twenty comments that basically said, "Agreed." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML
Today, I went on Facebook to find that my little brother had messed with my profile. He wrote on my status that I'm a piece of shit, I have no life, and several other nasty and perverted things. Underneath, it said 26 of my friends liked this. I'm new to Facebook. So far I have 26 friends. FML
Today, I logged on to Facebook and had 64 notifications. I thought that perhaps I was popular. But no, it was my ten year old sister, liking 64 of my pictures. FML
Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML
Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML
Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of "likes" I have on my Facebook statuses. FML
Today, I discovered the piggy bank I made a Facebook account for has more friends than me. It has 12. FML
Today, I asked out my best friend via facebook graffiti. He then accidentally wrote his rejection as his status instead of on my wall. More people liked his status than the number of friends I have on facebook. FML
Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ChurchofFagenism 0
500 Facebook Friends is not the same as actual friends...
DrConstantine 0
Oh no, not Facebook! If you let Facebook judge your life, you should let a shotgun decide your future.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (139)
tfulgione 0
Well, its reached the point now where whenever I hear the word 'facebook' it causes an involuntary angry twitch
sovereign_fml 0
Only a douche would care about how many facebook friends they have. YDI.
giganticbrain 0
It seems that many of today's problems can be summed up in a single statement: "**** Facebook"
chvie06 0
I'm your friend!
lovinmylife 0
This is why you shouldnt have 500 friends q:
SecsNoises 6
This is why I don't facebook, people act like complete douches on it :S
aq2004 0
If 24 people liked your "friend's" status, the problem may be YOU. I'm just sayin'...
kellster 2
#107, you're dyslexic. It was 42, not 24. Just saying. Dan, sounds like you're a bit of an asshole! Might want to do a little thinking there...
Linni 0
facebook *****!
ibabeita 0
hahahh press "like"