Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend and gave him a kiss. I didn't understand why the girl next to him got upset, but it turns out the voicemail I deleted by accident was him breaking up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I had only been dating him for about a month. Thinking he wouldn't take it very hard, I invited him over so I could tell him in person. Little did I know he was going to start crying on my couch and not leave for 5 hours. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm "high maintenance." I'd only asked him to use deodorant and brush his teeth. He hasn't had a shower in over a week. FML
Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML
Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML
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Top comments
mpj13 8
It's no ordinary toothbrush. But still it's a toothbrush so get over it
jewwybeanzzz 10
more concerned about your toothbrush then ending a relationship... Wow your relationship must have been... Somethin else. That or you really love your toothbrush.
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Comments (92)
mpj13 8
It's no ordinary toothbrush. But still it's a toothbrush so get over it
igive 29
But it does half the work for you. It's the epitome of laziness in dental hygiene.
Shrike 24
And they're overpriced pieces of shit at that. She might as well have bought a gold-plated vibrator instead.
OriginalimoaN 15
Yeah, but obviously he was an ordinary boy and easy to get over, so she could focus on the expensive not ordinary thing she didn't have anymore.
godisnowhere41 5
It sounds like she already cried herself a river, so now all she has to do is build a bridge and get over it.
lilhellian 27
But if op has braces... I know my orthodontist recommended it..
tjv3 10
That is theft of property press charges to be a bitch since he was an ass for tacking it.
kaylannixon 5
72, your comment helped me invent a new insult. Asstack. Thank you.
VScpu 3
It wasn't just an ordinary toothbrush ;)
HouseElf 13
Is this an advertising ploy...?
WhatsGoodBro 12
Ask him for it back. He probably took it so you would have to talk to him again to get it back.
adameeo 21
Because he was a thinker!
kithless 6
Hell no don't ask for it back! He probably used it to clean his asshole or something.
andrew6p 19
Are you trying to advertise Sonicare?
jewwybeanzzz 10
more concerned about your toothbrush then ending a relationship... Wow your relationship must have been... Somethin else. That or you really love your toothbrush.
vencku 13
She ended the relationship, so it obviously wasn't working. Why should she be sad? I've heared something like this before from a friend. He dumped his girlfriend, but when moving out, she took stuff of his with her. He never asked it back, though. (Which is stupid, in my opinion. It's theft!)
etchsanity1 11
20 it's the cost of getting rid of someone who is indeed that bad ... Sometimes sacrificing a few physical things is worth getting your freedom.
Enslaved 38
I agree. To get his stuff back means he would probably have to make arrangements to see her again.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
#5 I'm being the devil's advocate there but it is possible that OP's ex was a selfish d-bag and that she is relieved to be rid of him
Iknoweverything 29
#42, I don't think that's the devils advocate. Some people are not worth being upset over. SHE broke up with HIM. If he wasn't worth being upset about breaking up with him, he probably wasn't worth staying in a relationship with. I don't understand why people think everyone should be upset about every single breakup. And the fact that he stole something that she really valued out of spite shows that he probably wasn't even worth being with.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Buy a new one and rub it in his face that you're happier with it; he'll get super jealous. Over a toothbrush. Wow- this is a bit sad... I should go to bed...
jewwybeanzzz 10
Please d :P Everyone say goodnight 6!
emag_eht 18
#9 - Can we say goodnight to you instead?
nikesonmyfeet_fml 5
I enjoy my sonicare, but not that much. FYL OP
chriswright1888 10
My zebra likes sonicare, had to import it. Damn costly zebras.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
对不起, 我的中文不好。:)
pradip 26
Brush it off. He cares for you, he could have brushed your sonicare with dirt and made you bite the dust. he chose otherwise.
vencku 13
He chose to steal an expensive toothbrush. How is that a comfort?
iLuvsIt 10
He could have used it to clean filthy things and then left it to use in her mouth, but he didn't. I would prefer that he took it you know...well you obviously don't...
vencku 13
37 - No, I don't. A relationship is something you enter voluntarily, and you should be allowed to break up without "punishment". I don't see why someone would have a right to steal your stuff because the relationship did not work out. Basically, it doesn't matter what is preferable. It's both wrong.
crammer1 6
Couldn't agree more 45. Just goes to show how effed our society is because most people said she deserved it. She neither deserves having the toothbrush stolen, or having gross things done to it. She also doesn't have to stay in a relationship where she isn't happy. She obviously made the right decision because he's the kind of person that steals stuff to make himself feel better.
Yongchi 11
You and your toothbrush must have had some intense moments together for you to miss it more than your ex-boyfriend.