Today, on Facebook, I realized I had over 500 friends. I told my one friend and she changed her status to, "How can Dan have over 500 Facebook friends? Nobody even likes him." It got 42 likes and twenty comments that basically said, "Agreed." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML
Today, I went on Facebook to find that my little brother had messed with my profile. He wrote on my status that I'm a piece of shit, I have no life, and several other nasty and perverted things. Underneath, it said 26 of my friends liked this. I'm new to Facebook. So far I have 26 friends. FML
Today, I logged on to Facebook and had 64 notifications. I thought that perhaps I was popular. But no, it was my ten year old sister, liking 64 of my pictures. FML
Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML
Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML
Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of "likes" I have on my Facebook statuses. FML
Today, I discovered the piggy bank I made a Facebook account for has more friends than me. It has 12. FML
Today, I asked out my best friend via facebook graffiti. He then accidentally wrote his rejection as his status instead of on my wall. More people liked his status than the number of friends I have on facebook. FML
Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML
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Top comments
ChurchofFagenism 0
500 Facebook Friends is not the same as actual friends...
DrConstantine 0
Oh no, not Facebook! If you let Facebook judge your life, you should let a shotgun decide your future.
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Comments (139)
Hydroblaze 0
This is horrible. If that many people agree/like it then obviously they know WHO DAN IS, hey when people know who you are talking about by only giving a first name then you should be happy. I'm sure if someone put that about me on Facebook people would comment "Derek who?" or "You mean Derek Jones??".
lolwatlol 0
Hi, Derek Jones from Montreal
kmk81 2
hahahaha...
5upernova 3
Even though some of them probably meant it, there is a possibility that a few is kidding!
chaychaychay 0
Obviously you have some problem that makes you a jerk. Or all of your friends have a deficiency that makes them as dumb as retarded turtles
bluetech 12
How many of those 500 are your friends just for Mafia Wars?
triplethreat13 0
I had 400 and I'm well-liked but I'm not actually friends with the majority of them. Huh.
Vaetrus 0
Your life is pathetic. For so many reason I can not even begin to
Rijii 0
Well, that's 62 "friends" you can take off your friends list right here. What a bunch of ******* assholes. FYL.
skeleton_607 0
it's so appropriate that it says "share on facebook" below
seekasmile 0
I dont like you. Jk