Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the store to buy some new shirts. I tried them on and none of them fit. When I walked out to return the shirts, everybody was staring at me. I looked down to see why. I'd forgotten to put my original shirt back on. FML
Today, I put on a new pair of jeans and went out. Halfway through my errands, I realized the long sticker with my size was still on the back. I walked around for quite a while advertising my embarrassing waist and leg measurements. FML
Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML
Today, I was bragging about how I had lost 10 pounds. Grinning, I pulled my shirt up and tried to show how big my jeans were on me. Instead, the button flew off my pants. FML
Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML
Today, my pants felt a little looser than usual. Thinking I'd lost weight, I proudly went about my day. It wasn't until much later that I realised I hadn't lost any weight at all; my fly was down. FML
Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML
Today, after losing 20 pounds, I decided to purchase new clothes. All of the clothes at the store were still too small for me. FML
Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML
Today, I had to buy another pair of "fat jeans", because my old "fat jeans" became my new "skinny jeans." FML
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Top comments
ajay96 3
Well congrats. As long as Paul blart didn't chase you down
nutella830 0
Hey at least you dropped two pant sizes(:
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Comments (126)
perdix 31
That could be sexy if you answer the following question correctly: Do you shave your ******?
ChaosAngel17 14
Haha it always comes down to this.
perdix 31
Neatly trimming it gets partial credit ;)
hjanelle14 2
no one shaves their ******... the ****** is the hole that the penis goes in...haha
perdix 31
Yes, in the FML that I referenced, I explained that the correct term would be "vulva," but it's just too silly-sounding to say. "You've got a lovely vulva. May I buy you a drink?" That pick-up line has a 0.01% success rate.
ChaosAngel17 14
Haha I'll keep that in mind. @72 Yes well as long as people get his meaning, I don't think it hurts anyone.
SmittyJA24 26
I generally go commando on the weekend; how about you , OP??
sartyler 0
Good job!! Im glad you lost weight!
HelloKitty14321 0
That Awkward Moment O.o
mmmpieee 1
Congrats on dropping 2 pants sizes!!! :D You shouldnt give a damn about people staring at you - cuz **** it, youve dropped TWO sizes. Thats HUGE!!! CONGRATS! :)
fukthisss 5
That's awesome!
geod69 8
Congrates on dropping your pants
annihil8or 15
Pictures or it didn't happen :)
Gabby18 5
Well hey don't worry about that you drop 2 pant sizes !
scorpio1194 0
Well congrats on the weight loss but sorry to hear you forgot to put on some pants