Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML
Today, I managed to not think too much about how alone I feel living in a strange city, and I went out to find a quiet place to write and eat. After I ordered my meal, I saw that I was the only diner that was sitting alone at a table. Then "All By Myself" came on the radio. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
Today, I decided to make new friends, so I sat with the lonely guy at lunch. Now he keeps following me, with his phone in a camera position. FML
Today, I ordered takeout. When I looked in the bag, I saw they'd included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, then estimated that there must be at least four people eating such a large meal. I was eating alone. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML
Today, I felt so lonely that I went on an online chat website and pretended to be a girl just so someone would talk to me. FML
Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML
Today, I took the time to make myself look nice just so that the pizza guy would think I had a life. FML
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
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Top comments
narkill 13
5 dollar foot lonely.
filip00 16
Since when are people so obsessed about trying to impress random strangers? Who cares if you're alone or with someone?
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Comments (55)
s3xygrandpa 5
It shouldn't matter if you're out eating alone. Who cares? No stranger is going to point you out and start laughing hysterically over it.
vandeele 8
desperate calls call for desperate measures... I know how ye feel mate.
hig999 19
Why do people do this stuff then put it here saying FML? Attention seeking much?
shivafloof 5
I'm pretty sure people would notice that there was no one with you. Is looking like you got stood up seriously less embarrassing than just being an adult and eating on your own?
xRezSynn 15
You poor guy
amisenho 11
From my experience, if you want to meet other introverted people, you have to make it look like no one is with you (no more than MAYBE one other person), assuming you're into introverted people.
darkfireflame 15
Dude, that's seriously pathetic.
yzzami 17
This was embarrassing to read
AloysiusWeasley 15
You're so insecure you can't even eat by yourself?
ByeTech 10
Dude, that's literally one of the saddest things I've ever read. How about learning to apprechiate your own company? You are born alone, you die alone, might wanna be your own friend.