Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
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Top comments
JHC88 2
Wow, that was really rude of him.
123josie123 11
Ew they didn't have the decency to wait till you're gone??
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Comments (217)
pdp_fml 21
You must be a heavy sleeper for you not to notice someone getting in the bed with you or you were too drunk to notice. FYL, your so Called friend should have warned you first.
The_Hitdude 12
...Yeah, letting her know in advance: "Hey, just to let you know, I invited my boyfriend over, and we were planning on ******* each other's brains out. In this bed. If you feel uncomfortable, you can borrow my Ipod and listen to some really loud music.."
DinoAri 9
Not everyone is a light sleeper, so OP probably needed a bit more movement to wake her up which is what her friend's bf did by kicking her.
raven_of_azarath 35
For most of my life, I've had cats that sleep with me. I'm not exactly a heavy sleeper, but I've learned to get used to and ignore movement on my bed while I'm sleeping. It's not really that hard if a concept. And if OP is used to sleeping with someone, they'd be oblivious to extra movement, too.
SlickWillyTFCF 5
Shoulda joined in.
uj_fml 4
So disrespectful. I would reconsider who your "friends" are.
Solid_Hippo 4
Please tell me your not the **** block friend we all have!!
thomas9753 0
So it's not just me getting blocked. With the calls and the text at the worst times
DinoAri 9
Well, her friend's bf came over during a sleepover unannounced. He's the one to blame.:/ Poor OP.
wriptidez 0
not a good friend at all move on
mooneygroove 0
The funny thing is she didnt notice o.o. Maybe he was trying to get u in on it?
xbella 8
mmm shoulda joined em (;
KatherineJ 0
Dude, that would just make it worse. And make a certain teenager over here puke.
kemando 22
And i thought masturbating while sum1 else is in the bed was weird...
thomas9753 0
It still is :)
lovelylaurie021 3
That's so ignorant. Some friend.
GoW_Chick 15
This is when you mess with them, start to laugh uncontrollably, when they ask why tell them it's because you caught a glimpse of his penis.
marisadc79 0
Sleep deprivation is a bitch, it's why I'm here