Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
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Top comments
JHC88 2
Wow, that was really rude of him.
123josie123 11
Ew they didn't have the decency to wait till you're gone??
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Comments (217)
Lola_Von 5
That is reall F-ing nasty!
SgtStud 4
Pics or it didnt happen.
ChrisGWpg 9
I hope you either joined in or moved to the couch... he could have just left u there asleep but instead he have u the decision to stay or leave
softballrocks14 0
Why were they even going to have sex when your also in the bed? Or even at her house? O.o
hammertimeosos 0
I would've started asking her how her yeast infection was going, or something along those lines just to wreck the mood.
GhostDuck 30
Does this FML kind of remind anyone else of the one about the OP being used as a "love wedge"?
The_Hitdude 12
Da ****???
richieflow 3
DICK MOVE !!!
kittehkatrawrr 2
Weeow that would be awkward as hell...
Okayitwasme 0
No respect!
Crystal55621 19
Even if he got you off the bed, (which obviously didn't happen.) didn't he think the fall to the floor would wake you up? Wait, why were they having sex knowing that you were sleeping over? Our world is so screwed up.