Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
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Top comments
JHC88 2
Wow, that was really rude of him.
123josie123 11
Ew they didn't have the decency to wait till you're gone??
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Comments (217)
Shadow_Phantom 26
That's uh, awkward.... and really rude. They could have just woken you up normally, made you sleep elsewhere, then went back to their business... FYL.
white_power_fml 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that is a bad ass boyfriend!! haha they must be pretty good friends! I did/do the same. props to the boyfriend.
marisadc79 0
Time for a new friend wow
DjeePee 25
First reaction: Ew. Second reaction: Eeeeeeeeeeeeew.
Raesin 21
Wow, she must've been really desperate if she didn't have the decency to wait until you were gone. Time to find a new friend OP.
jobsman99 0
Should have joined in. I am sure that is what they wanted. We're you all naked?
SirPlagueRat 6
Dude, what the **** is wrong with them?! That's just wrong, gross, and incredibly inconsiderate.
ehtheis518 0
So, Can i join?
Bullheard 0
well wat did u do?
johnka08 5
Wow! That is some friend. Kinda shows u she isn't a true friend though if she is that considerate and puts her boyfriends needs before you.