Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
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Top comments
JHC88 2
Wow, that was really rude of him.
123josie123 11
Ew they didn't have the decency to wait till you're gone??
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Comments (217)
grands138 4
That's when you get up, leave the room, and come back with a bucket of ice cold water.
KaYLa_LoUiSe 9
Ice bucket challenge!!!!!
Talented73 54
Ice water? That's what you call "cold-cockin' em".
KiraElayne_ 1
Thats just plain rude. I slept over at my friends once and she had her GF over (she's bi) and I woke up to one of them moaning "yeah that's so good..." it's ******* inconsiderate, i accept them but I was right there....wtf? FYL op
RipSchitz 0
You should have totally jumped in. Are you sure you weren't getting kicked so you'd wake up and help out? Every guy wants a threesome with 2 chicks. ????
Newzealeb 3
Shoulda suffocated him with the pillow, just sayin' .
Quillian12 0
Hopefully you told her parents.
thomas9753 0
Umm I hope she didn't! They let him sleep over
arioch_fml 20
Not necessarily, could have came by in the middle of the night to avoid getting in trouble, or the off chance OP'S friend has her own place, it wouldn't matter
KatherineJ 0
What the heck. You should have kicked him in the balls. That's not something you do when you're sleeping in the same bed with a friend. No, it's something you don't do with a friend in the same area as you. That's just nasty.
TweedleM 1
I would be pissed. I would have gotten up, got my stuff and left. That's disgusting and rude.
cuddlebunny3548 11
How rude!!
SukiIzumi 8
What kind of friend is that? Rude people!
tinker88 2
Prfft I wouldn't even call her a friend what sort of friend has u over then try's having it on with her bf wen ur asleep next to them or invites the bf over??