Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML
Today, I found out that I'm allergic to shrimp, when I went out for a lunch with my long-term crush after I finally got the courage to ask her out. She's really into seafood. A little while into the afternoon I started to feel itchy. She ended up scratching my back all night. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. He took me to a restaurant where I was allergic to practically everything on the menu. I sneezed five or six times within the first 15 minutes and spent the rest of the lunch awkwardly trying to explain I wasn't allergic to him, just the food and spices floating around us. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML
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Top comments
platypusrex256 2
thats a bit forward for a first date, don't you think?
puffingdragons 0
It's the guys fault. "In case I want to kiss you later." Way to come off as a Jerk.
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Comments (168)
BipolarBettie 0
I would have thought that to be cute what you said
JuJuBeeSunshine 0
Treat 'em like dirt, and they'll stick like mud.
annis_fml 0
Why would you even say that? "In case I might want to kiss you later..." Oyyy...even I would have ordered the damn shrimp after you said that
braFTW 0
Did she at least choke on that shrimp?
kellster 2
LOL. You asked for that one, dude! I would have ordered it, too!
bbobe900000 0
lol. shoulda just pulled the move right then and then told her, maybe she would have ordered somethin else
ElDiablo_fml 0
You kinda walked right into that one
AndyDuNasty 0
wow maybe she just was not a ***** and didn't feel like tongue on her first date u derserved that one man
Migor 0
lol i think you was very sure of youre self now you dont lol
killface_fml 0
You fail at wimmins.
awkward_turtles 1
You fail at spelling.