Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML
Today, I found out that I'm allergic to shrimp, when I went out for a lunch with my long-term crush after I finally got the courage to ask her out. She's really into seafood. A little while into the afternoon I started to feel itchy. She ended up scratching my back all night. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. He took me to a restaurant where I was allergic to practically everything on the menu. I sneezed five or six times within the first 15 minutes and spent the rest of the lunch awkwardly trying to explain I wasn't allergic to him, just the food and spices floating around us. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML
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Top comments
platypusrex256 2
thats a bit forward for a first date, don't you think?
puffingdragons 0
It's the guys fault. "In case I want to kiss you later." Way to come off as a Jerk.
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Comments (168)
yuhhkno 0
what a b!tch ima girl
britishcookie 0
:] don't miss what you can't hit.
Kitsukami 0
@151 Well, he could have done that, but instead of her looking like a bitch, he would have looked like an asshole. >>
AmbrosiaFan 19
Why do you think you should get a kiss on the first date? It was a bit pompous of you to say that so no wonder she ordered the shrimp. Why not let her find out of she likes you or not FIRST before announcing something like a kiss?
JBVL 0
Smooth Casanova.
Hecka_cool 2
you took her to Red Lobster when they had All You Can Eat Shrimp right? you should have offer her your "Jumbo Shrimp"
kmullen1866 0
That's kind of a dumb thing to say to someone on the first date. You could've at least said 'if we want to kiss each other'.
Shawn91 2
I'm allergic to peanuts and I've been on a date with a dude that pulled the same thing with the dessert.
itsmeppl 0
u shudda left her there mid-meal so she coulda paid herself lol wat a biatch
yenros 2
well maybe you shouldn't have been so rude