Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML
Today, I found out that I'm allergic to shrimp, when I went out for a lunch with my long-term crush after I finally got the courage to ask her out. She's really into seafood. A little while into the afternoon I started to feel itchy. She ended up scratching my back all night. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. He took me to a restaurant where I was allergic to practically everything on the menu. I sneezed five or six times within the first 15 minutes and spent the rest of the lunch awkwardly trying to explain I wasn't allergic to him, just the food and spices floating around us. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML
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Top comments
platypusrex256 2
thats a bit forward for a first date, don't you think?
puffingdragons 0
It's the guys fault. "In case I want to kiss you later." Way to come off as a Jerk.
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Comments (168)
lame16 0
..i feel yah man.. i'm allergic to shrimp too >.< it REALLY sucks when i have to kiss my girlfriend.. but.. I too think you went a bit forward with the kiss idea.. bad idea..
cjlacz 0
Yeah, pretty stupid thing to say. Never put women in a position that they have to answer one way or another. It's never going to turn out well for you.
takeyb0y2 0
Wow, coming on maybe a little too strong here are we?
jaybirdka 0
what a douche...."in case I want to kiss you later"??? mr. smooth are we??
Carlynator09 0
honestly that was a little bit forward, but hey a lot of girls are into that and she shouldnt have been so rude that was way harsh on her part, I wouldnt treat a guy that way
AlexJakubsen1 0
that was a cute line, she's a dumb ***** bitch
napalm_fml 0
Protip: women don't like nice guys. Most women enjoy being treated like shit. You just happened to run into one that isn't into it. Oh well when in doubt, use date-rape drugs bro.
heatherryo 0
I don't think this is the girl's fault. In case you want to kiss her later? Psh.
Crunchy_fml 0
She ordered the shrimp. That doesn't mean she won't kiss you later. ;)
nodbor 11
guess you where an ASSumer