Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML
Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
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Top comments
ForShame 0
Sorry, but YDI. If it had been a bee, this might be excusable, but not a fly.
STVader 0
Yeah man. I've been there. Feel your pain.
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Comments (95)
Ohnoitslindsay 0
OH, LOOK! Something shiny.
mattiscool 0
fake.
shaPOW 0
your username is the best part of this story.
angst 0
Couldn't you finish peeing BEFORE swatting for the fly? Unless it was going for your junk..
RiChY_BaBy08 0
lol what a classic. bettter tham pissng on the person next to you and then having them beat you up for it
FMLeah 6
For some reason, I started reading this at 'when a fly started buzzing around my head'. I was very confused.
jessxoxo28 5
lol!!!!! that sucks!! cant u pee that swat the thing away?
AntiChrist7 0
i think we have a neurological problem if your dick does what your hand should do. must be terrible when you want to shake someone's hand.
AntiChrist7 0
i think we have a neurological problem if your dick does what your hand should do. must be terrible if you want to shake hands.
XantesFire 0
Always keep one hand on your dick when using the urinals.