Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today. I realized my dad is a little bit too rock n roll when he got into a pushing and shoving match with a married couple, who was making comments about how my dad’s leather jacket and ripped jeans weren’t “appropriate.” To be fair, they started it, but this was a parent night at a high school. FML
Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML
Today, I was listening to music while wearing my headphones on campus. A song I really liked came on, and after a while, I started doing air guitar along to it. I was soon accosted by campus security. Apparently, air guitar looks like jerking off from really far away. FML
Today, I had to explain to my dad how I rear-ended the car in front of me because of a particularly intense banjo solo. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend's band play a gig. I also found out he pulls the same faces playing the bass as he does when we have sex. FML
Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML
Today, a weird guy in pajama pants and a fake hair-hat kept standing by us at a concert. Everyone talked about what a creep he was. I would have too, but he was my dad. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mvonneumann 0
lol, I actually got yelled once because I was shaking a pen under the table, and the teacher thought I was having a tug
boobaloo_fml 0
lol that would make 4 an awkward conversation....
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (47)
boobaloo_fml 0
lol that would make 4 an awkward conversation....
blakehilli8 0
Second
supermike33 0
no it wouldn't stop being a fucktard.
jeocon10 0
FYL
mvonneumann 0
lol, I actually got yelled once because I was shaking a pen under the table, and the teacher thought I was having a tug
allie2590 31
Your teacher must be awfully full of themself then.
ydi_bitch 0
YDI for letting your father jackoff the guitar
plexico 4
I hope he was making that fake orgasmic face the guitarists always make during solos!
uberrcool 0
haaaaaaa, so true!
mccaincracker 6
I actually Lol'ed to this 1. FYL
RitzyHoke 0
dirty looks. hmm. why type?
RitzyHoke 0
which*
ajscw 0
LOL lmfao
dayrin7 4
Why didn't you tell him what he was doing to begin with? knowing me i would have scream to my dad telling him to stop because he look nasty... hmm i don't know but this FML suck.