Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML
Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML
Today, I was listening to some music before school started, which is why I didn't hear my teacher sneak up behind me. When she laid her hand on my shoulder, of course I accidentally punch her in the face. Her nose bled. FML
Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
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Top comments
Awesomeaxel 24
That's actually pretty funny. I'm sorry op
Black_Knight80 13
an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Haha yea right! sorry OP
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Comments (80)
Uglyfeet 23
Couldn't come up with a "big Apple" nor with a "Steve Jobs" joke, I'm losing my touch for this :/
Rainhawk94 27
And you have ugly feet
krupa1017 18
Ouchh! Hope you're okay!!
jenjen2633 17
I really hope this one gets illustrated lol
cakefete2 31
I can see this as a "when apples bite back" kind of strip.
HowieDoIt 21
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When it gives you apples, make your nose bleed?
warsun 27
Nah **** logic and make orange juice
Rajni_dev 12
Don't worry about it op, everyone except us forgets about our embarrassing moments soon enough.
91hayek 31
I once put a cherry up my nose and made it bleed. There were many jokes had by all about my 'cherry' and bleeding. :/
kinky44 28
"You think I look bad, you should see the apple." -OP
LuluRichards 20
It could be worse.. Could it?
illegalbeagle69 23
OP could be a dude.
borntoperform 14
Eating an apple in class would make too much noise anyways. YDI, op.
hxnnxh 14
Beaten up by a Granny Smith.. Ouch, poor you OP!
cakefete2 31
Those things are lethal. Ever wondered why there are no Grandpa Smith apples? Well now you know.