Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML
Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML
Today, I was listening to some music before school started, which is why I didn't hear my teacher sneak up behind me. When she laid her hand on my shoulder, of course I accidentally punch her in the face. Her nose bled. FML
Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
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Top comments
Awesomeaxel 24
That's actually pretty funny. I'm sorry op
Black_Knight80 13
an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Haha yea right! sorry OP
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Comments (80)
CrazyMelvin 14
Either you're a vampire or it was a thin apple:)
Likian5 26
Your teeth went right through the apple...but aren't they supposed to do that? What other outcome were you expecting?
45thTBirds 7
Let's all make the same comment guys. Sorry OP :(
coppersmith 13
You have something in common with Bill Gates now... Apple made him bleed too!
AlwaysWatching 27
That's an awesome title to have
iAshelle 11
That is tough. Keep your head help high OP! Hopefully they will forget?
pjsr 33
Instead of 'Fruit Ninja', it appears you experienced 'Ninja Fruit'
mchmelev1993 10
Lmao i would pay to see that xD
Pareidolia101 15
Those must be really sharp teeth you have.
bombielol 20
well thats some shit.