Today, I learned that girls don't like it when you pass out from carrying them to the bed. What they DO like, is telling all their friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML
Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML
Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML
Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, my daughter told me she would rather hang herself than hang out with me. All I did was remind her to go to bed at a reasonable time to get some sleep for an activity she likes doing. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML
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Top comments
AngelRaven89 0
why would she tell all her friends that you carrying her made you pass out? That seems like something she would want to keep private. How exactly does one pass out from carrying someone? I don't get it! Someone clarify!
Fontario4 2
Ummm you all assume she's fat, she's either fat, OR this guy is super weak, and that's why she is telling all her friends and thet's why he's embarrassed, that seems to make more sense.
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Comments (56)
kristidgranger 3
y'all all just asume she was fat, he could have passed out for various reasons! BTW girls do tell their friends stuff like that! lol.
Prawn_fml 2
Next time, just let her carry you. Either you get a nice romantic ride, or she can't handle the burden either and you can tell all your friends. Win-win.
yourkiddingright_fml 0
This makes no sense!
Captain_A 0
I just signed up to say... YOU are all idiots. The reason he "passed out" was because he was drunk... clearly your all too stupid to come to this conclusion.
jchansfan 0
OMG! You're a total ass, but you're right! That didn't even occur to me! LOL
jchansfan 0
Oh i meant they were right that it didn't really occur to anyone, i think they were rather full of themselves insisting they "KNEW" it was 'cause the OP was drunk. :P
blastvortex 4
Chivalry is dead, although YDI anyway.
lkrofct 0
YDI for trying to get with a fatty
moose09876 0
At least one of you is a fatass.
DTSteinmetz 0
Either your girl is a fatass, or you're just weaksauce.
Ninjaface 0
What they like even MORE is screwing your brains out while you're passed out. You should listen more carefully to what she's telling her friends, you might here something interesting. ;)
Jennyyx3_ 0
YDI FOR HAVING A FAT BIG MOUTHED GIRLFRIEND!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
We don't know the girl was fat - you're just assuming that because he passed out lifting her. She could weigh 120 pounds and he could be super weak. That goes for all of you saying she's fat - quit stooping to the lows in which society has sunk by accepting only one kind of body type. It's sickening.