Today, I learned that girls don't like it when you pass out from carrying them to the bed. What they DO like, is telling all their friends. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML
Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML
Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML
Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, my daughter told me she would rather hang herself than hang out with me. All I did was remind her to go to bed at a reasonable time to get some sleep for an activity she likes doing. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML
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Top comments
AngelRaven89 0
why would she tell all her friends that you carrying her made you pass out? That seems like something she would want to keep private. How exactly does one pass out from carrying someone? I don't get it! Someone clarify!
Fontario4 2
Ummm you all assume she's fat, she's either fat, OR this guy is super weak, and that's why she is telling all her friends and thet's why he's embarrassed, that seems to make more sense.
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Comments (56)
realxmuto 4
She probably wasn't fat at all and the guy just fainted at a bad time. Sorry man.
IlPiccoloLORd 0
Next time get a skinnier one!!!!!!!!!
lets_be_ian 5
I dont' get this one at all. he passed out while carrying her to bed? did she just happen to luck up and land on the bed at just the last second? This implies to me that some girl got dropped on her ass perhaps with a boyfriend collapsing on her just for good measure. How is she so jovial about this? I am surprised she is not bitching to all her friends about how she was going to make sweet love to her boyfriend but instead has a concussion. F Her Life
Rijii 0
Whoa, dude, was she that heavy or are you just a wuss?
Thhe 0
seriously, if one girl knows something, every other girl within 200 miles will know it within 24 hours.
i_got_it 0
Either shes a fatass, or you need to grow some meat on your bones(no ****)..
LEPOfficer 0
Ooh Nice save :D
tequilabird 0
you're embarrassed because she told all her friends that you passed out after carrying her? she should me embarrassed, not you.
the_stereotype 0
wow. that's just bitchy. she gets drunk and then makes you take her home, and then she makes fun of you? not to mention she decided that you're weak instead of accepting that she might be fat.
nyf137 20
Where in the world did you get that she was drunk and he was taking her home???
subcultured 0
so either you're a little girly man or you were hauling some ham beast. Either way fyl.
turtleboy13 0
next time, instead of carrying her. Just grab a twinkie and tie it to a stick on her forhead