Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML
Today, feeling generous, I bought a dozen donuts for my coworkers. Instead, I ended up taking them into my office and eating all of them in the first hour. FML
Today, a coworker left a chocolate cake on the "free food" table in the office. I had a slice. She's just called to ask if she left her grandmother's birthday cake at work. She made it from scratch. Now I'm baking a new cake in the office kitchen. FML
Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML
Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML
Today, my co-worker offered me sweets, then chocolate and then biscuits. Repeatedly. She knows I'm trying to diet for my wedding. She does this every day. FML
Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML
Today, I went to a grocery store after work, exhausted. I nodded politely at a woman who smiled at me repeatedly. I realized at checkout she thought I was someone she knew. I nodded through a full conversation without knowing who I was pretending to be. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
"Today, I'm afraid to admit to someone I don't know that I enjoy good food. FML" Good lord, if you're that ashamed of it, I'll take that second pastry. ****, I'll even take both of them.
jangalianxi 6
why lie? just say you enjoy a tasty treat.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (49)
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
60% of the time, science works every time. True story.
Dudeness23 0
nobody like a liar
nerdsgetmehot 23
I, too, feel the siren's call of the buttery pastry. I'm a baker, so it's even worse for me. I don't eat them even close to every day, though! If you're embarrassed by your eating habits, then maybe it's time to change that.
WillKill4Beer 0
Fatty, McFatty!!
salsalover_12 5
News flash: just because the OP eats two pastries doesn't mean he or she is fat i weigh 110 pounds and i eat two pastries. People eat two pastries all the time for all we know OP could be a size 3.
kibbleskid911 0
the OP's name is "a fatty" so they probbably assumed that means he/she is fat
newjerseyguy 0
you must be a fat slob if your ashamed to admit both doughnuts are yours. in fact i doubt the pastry person even asked about tje second one. you are so self concious about yourself you just felt the need to make up a lie to make yourself feel better. get a life and stop being ashamed of yourself.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#49 They're pastries, yeah, but not necessarily doughnuts...There are so many other kinds of pastries.
irish_unity 0
Hark at Dr Phil , way to build her confidence up !
ballenzak 0
Eehm, I don't quite get why your life should suck..?
Mitch_Connor 11
Wah? It's your fault for not having enough self control.
jerome08 0
g
ScreamMeALuvSong 2
Why is everyone being so cruel to this girl? Obviously she has problems with food and possibly weight. Sounds like she could have some kind of eating disorder. If she has weight problems she probably has gotten crap from it and doesn't want people to think anymore of it. xL Sorry ranting. These kind of things set me off though. Self control is hard. It's easier said than done.