Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML
Today, feeling generous, I bought a dozen donuts for my coworkers. Instead, I ended up taking them into my office and eating all of them in the first hour. FML
Today, a coworker left a chocolate cake on the "free food" table in the office. I had a slice. She's just called to ask if she left her grandmother's birthday cake at work. She made it from scratch. Now I'm baking a new cake in the office kitchen. FML
Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML
Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML
Today, my co-worker offered me sweets, then chocolate and then biscuits. Repeatedly. She knows I'm trying to diet for my wedding. She does this every day. FML
Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML
Today, I went to a grocery store after work, exhausted. I nodded politely at a woman who smiled at me repeatedly. I realized at checkout she thought I was someone she knew. I nodded through a full conversation without knowing who I was pretending to be. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
"Today, I'm afraid to admit to someone I don't know that I enjoy good food. FML" Good lord, if you're that ashamed of it, I'll take that second pastry. ****, I'll even take both of them.
jangalianxi 6
why lie? just say you enjoy a tasty treat.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (49)
postoso 20
Two pastries....? FATASS
nicholasj96 9
Hey, No shame in being a fat ass.
Attica 20
Maybe she was trying to figure out if you were single?
kylehimself 5
Fatty
cartedor 18
hehe :D
Chibicase 19
Why would she ask you that, its like begging for something awkward to happen
herpderp1234 17
Why be embarrassed? Do not let her think little of you! You are your own person, OP! You control your life, not someone else! Eat both pastries with pride!
TheSentinel05 11
You clearly need to lose weight.
Hangryko 32
It was rude of her to ask, it's none of her business.