Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML
Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML
Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML
Today, I was getting coffee when I pulled my lip balm from my pocket and started playing with it in my hands, tapping it on my face and lip. There were there two gorgeous guys in front of me who kept turning around and staring at me. I was actually holding a tampon. FML
Today, I had just reached in my purse without looking to grab a granola bar when my boss walked in my office. We talked for a few minutes as he kept giving me strange looks and looking at my hand. He left and I realized I hadn't taken a granola bar out, but a tampon instead. FML
Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yeah, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML
Today, while working in a dark nightclub, I dropped a red charger. Retracing my steps, I found it, or so I thought until I picked up a used tampon. FML
Today, on my way home from grocery shopping, two young adults around my age came up and asked me for a lighter. Thinking they just needed it to light a cigarette, I handed them my only lighter. They immediately ran away. I got robbed for a 1.99$ lighter. FML
Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML
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Top comments
whirlednews 8
I bet that lighter is a bit agitating in your vag OP
zoPwNAgEzo 21
How did you manage to confuse your tampax for a lighter?
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Comments (51)
SgtStud 4
Almost corrected the fml on the spelling, but then I realized they're from the UK. On another note, that must have been awkward...
Lindahhxd 7
You can always open the tampon, stuff tobacco in it and light it to play it off.
Mauskau 36
Starred? That isn't a word. We say stared. We know Americans are lazy with spelling but we don't have stupid words in the uk.
Emma Marshall 19
Starred is a word.... just not in this context.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
How did you manage to confuse your tampax for a lighter?
rattusrattus 19
I'd think a cigar would be a slightly more obvious confusion, but you can't really bum a cigar from people.
DomDomxoxo 16
It was probably a tampon without an applicator wrapped in plastic.
Naomimi_fml 6
15, only in Cuba
capper44 18
#15 you cannot 'bum' a tampon either, coz it would hurt lol haha *Sorry guys but its funny :D
Nbackus9 4
Butt chugging dude! Happens all the time!
whirlednews 8
I bet that lighter is a bit agitating in your vag OP
JKr3slEMO 5
it's a bit agitating in her vag? well that's new
KiddNYC1O 22
Did the joke fly over your head? ^
JKr3slEMO 5
actually the joke did fly over my head when I first read it but now I got it and I take my stupidity back...shoo. Nothing to see here..
JKr3slEMO 5
now I'm not one for blonde jokes but this is a blonde moment for me..considering the fact that I am naturally blonde:/
numbersystem 4
Natural bluende
KiddNYC1O 22
Don't be so hard on yourself, #26. =]
Popcornography 10
My goodness, you're an arsehole 51.
mckibben 7
51- you are an asshole. 26- dont listen to 51, he's jealous of your hair
poppysoda 4
I thought people were done with being scene kids..
ClaremoreZebra 8
I thought people were done with unintelligence.
Skyblu10 10
And I thought people were done taking douchebag mirror pictures.
togahanavee 1
I thought Arnold's untucked shirt from Hey Arnold was a kilt.
lil_ham1644 29
It's not a kilt? I always just assumed it was
your_ma 27
Oh you poor thing that's so embarrassing!!
Zoh_Aubrey 8
At least it wasn't used.
MURIKKA 11
Because people keep used tampons in their handbags....
Zoh_Aubrey 8
On FML, I wouldnt be surprised.
MURIKKA 11
"Tampax: for when mother nature attacks your slacks"
TBelle4Ever 15
Could have been worse... It could have been a condom that she handed him instead.
Sunkistlover718 21
Guys are much more comfortable dealing with condoms than they are with tampax...
TBelle4Ever 15
I was talking about OP
ManInTheMachine 20
10's point still stands.
JKr3slEMO 5
You confused a tampax to a lighter? I wonder what other objects you confused for another...
PizzaRollsss 5
I hope she doesn't confuse a tazer for a razor... That could have a shocking ending.
artistvspoet16 6
How do I message you? I have so many questions about your hair!
PurpleLightsaber 4
Some guy? You didn't know him? If so, how did he know you had a lighter?
ruabadfishtoo 0
Well if OP is a smoker (assuming that) he most likely was also a smoker and knew she must have a lighter. I've seen my mom do it to total strangers.
StayClassyLassy 6
Exactly, smokers can tell other smokers apart from non-smokers.
icecreamdriveby 5
The cigarette in her hand was probably a dead giveaway.
namyo 13
Me and my friend were asked if we had a lighter and we are both slightly short 15 year olds
sarahlouise0506 10
What a bloody awful mistake.
MrElephant 5
I see what you did there.
TheMaster15 10
68 - I've seen some pretty bad duck faces, but THAT....... O.o
gracehi 33
Well, tampons ARE flammable...
PizzaRollsss 5
Is it really true that your cat ***** living lizards?
annie_nk 23
That's exactly what I was thinking! (the flammable part, not the ******** lizards bit lol)
gracehi 33
72, Maybe! I found this little guy in my cat's litter box when I was cleaning it. It makes you wonder though...What madness drove him in there???