Today, I left my number on my receipt for a cute waitress. As I was leaving the bar, she came running out and called me over. I obviously got excited. Turns out I'd forgotten to sign my slip. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML
Today, while working as a waitress, an attractive woman sat at one of my tables. When she paid, I decided to be bold and write my number and "Call me" on her receipt. She put in a complaint to my manager. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML
Today, I accidentally left my cell phone at the restaurant. When I realized my mistake, I went back to see if anyone had found it. They said no, so I gave them my number to call if it turned up. I realized later that I'd given them my cell phone number. FML
Today, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML
Today, while I was leaving a restaurant, the very handsome waiter, whom I had been trying to hit on all night, said to me, in front of everyone, "Why did you write your phone number on the table with hearts around it? You know I won't call you." FML
Today, I realized that I accidentally said my phone number wrong when I was giving it to a really smart, cute guy with all the same interests as me that I met at a bar last night. I'd had a few drinks and had gotten the middle three digits mixed up. FML
Today, I had a really cute waitress at lunch. I decided to leave my number and a $50 bill for a $15 check. When I left the restaurant I realized I still had the $50 but a $1 bill was missing from my wallet. I've been getting threatening text messages all day. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
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Top comments
DogsPaw 16
She should have called. =P
The_Troller 14
Why Must People Type Like This? I Always Read Each Word Like It's The Start Of A New Sentence. Does Anyone Else Do That?
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Comments (124)
Vulpes21 6
Nice try slugger
perdix 31
Does that ever work? I'm sure she's dying to call a "man" who lacks the balls to ask her for her number. I'm not sure you count as a man, you chicken! She liked you, huh. Remember, she works for tips.
micahsmommy 13
Whatever happened to properly asking out a girl/guy? I fancied a bartender at an Irish pub once but didn't just leave my number with a tip. I started up a conversation and then asked him out. I would think the one asked put would remember the asker more than just a receipt with a number.
evilplatypus 39
19 - I find it interesting that you call Perdix judgmental and then go on to call others "insecure douchebags". Hypocritical much?
sourgirl101 29
Why would the manager care if their employees give out their phone number? What they do on their time off with the number is none of their business. I have many of my bar guest's numbers and vice versa and hang out with them on my time off. It's encouraged to build a close relationship with customers and it brings in a lot more business. ***I can honestly say, in my years of experience, the dashing after leaving the number, has never worked. It's almost like those flyers people leave on your car windshield. Who has ever called those?
perdix 31
#19, are you nuts? Often, I get little handwritten notes on my check. Nothing great, just "Thanks a lot" or something, but she could have just as easily jotted down a number. The only time I successfully dated a waitress is when I asked her out face-to-face.
Angitia 8
Sourgirl? You haven't commented in ages!
sourgirl101 29
Oh, I'm always here (usually). Just giving the newbies a chance to voice their opinions. (:
The_Hitdude 12
78- Words of wisdom: If you judge people judging others, then you are no better than them. Just felt I should throw that out there. Chop chop! On with the debate!
DocBastard 40
Sandoval - calling someone a chicken now constitutes being a judgmental douche? What would I be if I called you a ******* hypocritical, garrulous assbag?
LaughinStock 16
^ You'd still be a doctor :)
perdix 31
#92, I really don't care whether you think I'm a douche or insensitive or judgmental. I'm just stating the obvious truth as I see it. I'm old and I know what works and lots of things that don't work. Notice that when the waitress ran him down, she didn't offer her number to him, even though she likely saw his number on the slip? She's not interested in him at this point. Get over your hurt feelings over my abrasive language and learn from the wisdom of the elders.
br0ccoli 15
Just go home and listen to the sad Adele songs in your pajamas with your guyliner streaming down your face. Then call your friends, Ben & Jerry over. Nevermind, you'll find someone like her.
mk58 31
Did I hear Ben & Jerry? Mmmm, those guys are yummy.
br0ccoli 15
36- Yes sir. I love Ben & Jerry in my mouth. Yum.
SkoomaKi 28
13 - I must ask, are you talking from experience here?
br0ccoli 15
72-No it's not from experience, though I know the process works. Personally, I wouldn't cry because of rejection lol. I just sulk a little bit and think about how much he's missing out. I then sneak into his house and cut the crotch out of every pair of boxers he has and put powdered estrogen pills in his protein and then hide in his closet as I watch him cry over Lifetime movies with my Ben & Jerry and spoon.
mischiefkel 17
I read this comment just as "i set fire to the rain" by adele came on the radio! :)
drdraaman 0
Yes, obviously, she'd come running out after you, and she would run into your arms, and you'd live happily ever after. Cue the Taylor Swift.
Mischief109 11
I thumbed you down. Wanna know why? You added Taylor swift into your comment. Fml
failgamer 7
Mischief, i thumbed you down for being a rude douche.
mk58 31
76, how is it an FML moment for you just because of that?
DobiesJS2012 9
You should have went with it man!! What better way to ask a woman out than when you are the center of her attention!!!
thrAsHeRr9081 16
You weren't with your girlfriend, were you?
DobiesJS2012 9
Yeah I thought this fml sounded familiar
sammy_mojo 7
I hope you left her a big tip as well. Nothing says douchebag like leaving your number along with a 2 dollar tip.
evilplatypus 39
If all you bought was the $2.50 soup, sounds like an awesome tip to me.
sammy_mojo 7
Yea but if you're trying to impress a girl, leaving her a substantial tip, regardless of what your meal cost, is gonna get you some points
Kaito_Hacker 6
Her boyfriend would call you.
loserman67 36
You aren't the guy who did this in front of his girlfriend a few weeks ago are you?
cyborgmexican 6
I remember that!!!!
THE_A_TEEN 28
This is what happens when you give your number to a waitress while you're with your girlfriend.
VoteForTaco 8
He didn't say that he was with his girlfriend or that he even had one.
THE_A_TEEN 28
It was a reference to a previous FML where the OP of that FML went to a restaurant with her boyfriend and the boyfriend gave his number to a waitress. The OP of this FML did the same thing with the waitress, except he is not in a relationship. But thanks for making me ruin the joke.
VoteForTaco 8
Oh yeah, now I remember.