Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to his best friend’s birthday party. He got her red roses, a necklace and $100 Victoria’s Secret Gift Card. This year he forgot my birthday, gave me a hug and told me to leave his apartment because he had homework to do. We’ve been together for two years. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, I finally gave the guy I was with for over a year a blowjob. Right after he tells me "I don't want a girlfriend but I want you to be my best friend." FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
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Top comments
shaBAMalex 0
Well hey, you asked. :]
dd3_fml 0
i have a feeling that your boyfriend was the honest one...
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Comments (301)
Mickey2315 0
Everything has to be balanced. Physical attraction has to be in perfect balance with emotional attraction or a relationship will not work. Too many people try for one or the other, which is why this country's divorce rate is 60%.
ander3w 0
give the man what he wants.
PrettyVal 0
243 - Sometimes the numbers on the comments change before your post. Soo that doesn't make me a tard. I was talking to 236 though
kiltedwolf 0
Could be worse... at least it's not "a *******.. from a hooker" or "anyone other than you". You know, really, it's a good thing, he considers bj's for special occasions and not everyday maybe... or it could be he thinks you're good at 'em. Besides, like women like to say, and it's true.. when DON'T we think about sex? Also, your friend's boyfriend is, as you just said, brand new.
christopherlove 0
You so rarely give ******** that he must request one for his birthday? YDI
sxeypushups101 0
funny one of my friends told me that exact same story
Bensoccerguy 0
The guy asking for a quiet night of watching movies is just asking for sex in a nicer way
KandiKane 0
Just like dinner and a movie--really think they're gonna watch the movie? at least you get past all the crappy "i dunno whats gonna happen" shit- at least you know your BF wants you!
mariecream 0
But, on your birthday, he can return the favour. IT'S A WIN-WIN SITUATION!
whoshotimnot 0
lol it seems that the your bf's (best friends) well uh bf (boy friend) told her a movie or two but didnt say wat movies can someone say midnight cinimax???