Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Tonday, I spent the night in my car because I didn’t want to go home as I just gave my roommate a 30-day eviction notice. My girlfriend is spending the night at a friend's, and I’m too cheap to get a hotel room. FML
Today, my tiny apartment flooded. My family lives out of state and the few friends I have all gave me B.S. excuses for why I can't stay over for a few nights. I'm so broke this month that I'll probably have to hit up my psycho ex. FML
Today, I learned that repairing my car will cost more than it's worth. I'm barely making it paycheck to paycheck and I had to sleep in that car several nights this week after getting thrown out of my sister's house. Now I need a room AND a car. FML
Today, and since I got frustrated at my wife as she was harping on at me, yet again, a few months ago, and I told her to shut the fuck up for the first time ever in our 25 year marriage, I’ve been sleeping on the sofa. I’m thinking of changing my address to Sofa, Fireplace Road, Living Room Town. FML
Today, I’m in a polyamorous relationship with my husband and another woman. She has anger issues and has been very abusive to me, and finally told my husband she wants to break up with me. Not him... just me. She’s still sleeping in our bed with him, and I’m sleeping on the couch. FML
Today, I got better sleep in my 30-year-old compact car with it being 40 degrees outside than I did in my bed. Got something to look forward to, as I'll be homeless soon. FML
Today, I decided to break up with my girlfriend after I got home and realised I was happier sat in my car on the street than I would be if I went inside and had to put up with her whining and her two spoiled daughters for even one more day. So now I’m happy, but also homeless. FML
Today, not only did my ex-wife take everything in our divorce, my most recent lottery ticket was off by only one number, I would have won millions and she wouldn’t have been entitled to a penny. Oh well, back to sleeping in my caravan, which is all I have left. FML
Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML
Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML
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Top comments
Feedmyaddiction5 14
That sucks! You should just go crazy and accuse her of sleeping with every guy in the state
every1luvsboners 11
So just drive around masturbating furiously until you get arrested. At least then you'll get 3 meals and a man to snuggle with.
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Comments (129)
flockz 20
she's just making more room in the house for more men.
kismentia 10
I feel for you, OP. Spent many nights in my car, a hotel, etc. to avoid my then-boyfriend's foolish rampages. All I can say is to save where possible, wait for taxes, give plasma, ANYTHING to get your divorce. And counseling is out--spouses have to want to stay in the marriage for MFT to work. Good luck.
PresAgent 23
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks." Sometimes those most vocal are the most guilty. FYL. I would suggest asking a friend for a place to crash, sleeping in the car gets old real fast.
dansco 25
Well you have been accused of it, so go bloody do it! Sleep with as many women as possible! You get sex, a bed and maybe a divorce ;)
GreenLightGrl 0
U need to suck it up leave that crazy bitch and go to a friends house dude!
neonberries 15
Just stay with one of your neighbors, you won't have to feel awkward about explaining the situation to anyone.
chenry1 4
Since she's accusing you of doing it. Go do it and save money for divorce.
savannah_benana 5
ermm if shes gonna accuse you of doing it then you may as well do it i mean u clearly dont love her
VoteForTaco 8
Grow a pair and dump her
icxiibunnie 14
Start saving up cause you either need to; live out on your own, divorce her, or both. Good luck to you OP. Hope you manage to survive, and deal with your psychotic wife :)