Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Tonday, I spent the night in my car because I didn’t want to go home as I just gave my roommate a 30-day eviction notice. My girlfriend is spending the night at a friend's, and I’m too cheap to get a hotel room. FML
Today, my tiny apartment flooded. My family lives out of state and the few friends I have all gave me B.S. excuses for why I can't stay over for a few nights. I'm so broke this month that I'll probably have to hit up my psycho ex. FML
Today, I learned that repairing my car will cost more than it's worth. I'm barely making it paycheck to paycheck and I had to sleep in that car several nights this week after getting thrown out of my sister's house. Now I need a room AND a car. FML
Today, and since I got frustrated at my wife as she was harping on at me, yet again, a few months ago, and I told her to shut the fuck up for the first time ever in our 25 year marriage, I’ve been sleeping on the sofa. I’m thinking of changing my address to Sofa, Fireplace Road, Living Room Town. FML
Today, I’m in a polyamorous relationship with my husband and another woman. She has anger issues and has been very abusive to me, and finally told my husband she wants to break up with me. Not him... just me. She’s still sleeping in our bed with him, and I’m sleeping on the couch. FML
Today, I got better sleep in my 30-year-old compact car with it being 40 degrees outside than I did in my bed. Got something to look forward to, as I'll be homeless soon. FML
Today, I decided to break up with my girlfriend after I got home and realised I was happier sat in my car on the street than I would be if I went inside and had to put up with her whining and her two spoiled daughters for even one more day. So now I’m happy, but also homeless. FML
Today, I moved in with my parents because I can't afford to live on my own. I now pay 100% of the bills and can't leave because I can't save to replace my stolen/totaled car. I also can't drop my mask at home because 33 is apparently to old to be autistic, and I'm so tired and burnt out. I'm also not allowed to sleep. FML
Today, not only did my ex-wife take everything in our divorce, my most recent lottery ticket was off by only one number, I would have won millions and she wouldn’t have been entitled to a penny. Oh well, back to sleeping in my caravan, which is all I have left. FML
Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML
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Top comments
Feedmyaddiction5 14
That sucks! You should just go crazy and accuse her of sleeping with every guy in the state
every1luvsboners 11
So just drive around masturbating furiously until you get arrested. At least then you'll get 3 meals and a man to snuggle with.
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Comments (129)
upyourzlolz 11
For the best of both worlds, go to a friends house, take their money, and then get a divorce!
SamCat 21
I truly feel bad for you OP. Good luck.
KeyboardWarrior 10
24 Somebody who agrees with me :D
ty1992_farmlife 12
Do I hear couples counseling?!! Sounds like you and her need to work those trust problems out lol
sarahbear430 0
For the price of couples counseling, OP could get a hotel room
ty1992_farmlife 12
I didn't say he woul pay, since she's the crazy one she should pay.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Some insurance companies cover couples counseling. I think it's a great idea but the norm around here lingers around "ZOMG divorce!!!1!". Since OP has already mentioned divorce, it might be too late for counseling but mediation could lead to a cheaper, less hostile divorce.
thebluewizard 14
Get over your embarrassment and go to a friend's house. You will be safer there, and perhaps your wife will realize she needs to get over this.
TheDrifter 24
Or the wife will become convinced that he is sleeping with someone when he's there and make his buddy's life hell too.
RikDog 8
Sue for divorce?
sparkman97 7
What?
ItsYourMamaDoe 0
If that was possible, that would cost money also. Which would not help the Op since he is broke.
JoeLouisBomber 9
Dude seriously **** your life man i feel bad for you
miZscrZee 0
): that's sad to hear...well..I guess that's what happens when there isn't any TRUST in the relationship...I hope the best for ya two.
maryam8869 7
I really felt sorry for OP .. leave the state, try to start a new life if theres no kids for sure. good luck
HappyJello 7
Just ask your friends! Maybe they could help you with a divorce. :)
tennisrapper1 14
I'm sorry OP, perhaps things will work out for you soon enough!