Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Tonday, I spent the night in my car because I didn’t want to go home as I just gave my roommate a 30-day eviction notice. My girlfriend is spending the night at a friend's, and I’m too cheap to get a hotel room. FML
Today, my tiny apartment flooded. My family lives out of state and the few friends I have all gave me B.S. excuses for why I can't stay over for a few nights. I'm so broke this month that I'll probably have to hit up my psycho ex. FML
Today, I learned that repairing my car will cost more than it's worth. I'm barely making it paycheck to paycheck and I had to sleep in that car several nights this week after getting thrown out of my sister's house. Now I need a room AND a car. FML
Today, and since I got frustrated at my wife as she was harping on at me, yet again, a few months ago, and I told her to shut the fuck up for the first time ever in our 25 year marriage, I’ve been sleeping on the sofa. I’m thinking of changing my address to Sofa, Fireplace Road, Living Room Town. FML
Today, I’m in a polyamorous relationship with my husband and another woman. She has anger issues and has been very abusive to me, and finally told my husband she wants to break up with me. Not him... just me. She’s still sleeping in our bed with him, and I’m sleeping on the couch. FML
Today, I got better sleep in my 30-year-old compact car with it being 40 degrees outside than I did in my bed. Got something to look forward to, as I'll be homeless soon. FML
Today, I decided to break up with my girlfriend after I got home and realised I was happier sat in my car on the street than I would be if I went inside and had to put up with her whining and her two spoiled daughters for even one more day. So now I’m happy, but also homeless. FML
Today, not only did my ex-wife take everything in our divorce, my most recent lottery ticket was off by only one number, I would have won millions and she wouldn’t have been entitled to a penny. Oh well, back to sleeping in my caravan, which is all I have left. FML
Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML
Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML
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Top comments
Feedmyaddiction5 14
That sucks! You should just go crazy and accuse her of sleeping with every guy in the state
every1luvsboners 11
So just drive around masturbating furiously until you get arrested. At least then you'll get 3 meals and a man to snuggle with.
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Comments (129)
ZielZone 4
Time to disappear!!
disney_blonde 16
When you finally do divorce her, make sure you get your balls back in the settlement.
fyl_darksouljoke 0
seeing as you called her psychotic you could sign her into a psych ward for schizophrenia (sp). she sounds delusional to me and you have the legal right to as her spouse. no more sleeping in the car for you
kookylocka 0
Check her medication. That may be part of the problem. Or at least you could 'switch' some meds that will get you a decent night's sleep
momo1972 3
And I thought I was the only one with that problem
hateevryone 15
just leave her crazy ass. get a divorce later
MexaDoreano 1
Swalllow your pride and take the car to a friend's house. Once your wife is looking for you, leave to a different friend's house and so on.
donkeyballz 0
its a sign she's cheating if you ask me.
angrytaco39 3
yet not embarrassed enough to post this on the world wide web.....
Ins0mau 20
It's anonymous.
xStaciexLynnx 15
Is she a psychotic delusional bitch or have you been cheating and now you're pissed cause you got caught? I'm just asking. I had an ex once who kept calling me a crazy bitch because I kicked him out when I found out he was also with another woman.