Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Tonday, I spent the night in my car because I didn’t want to go home as I just gave my roommate a 30-day eviction notice. My girlfriend is spending the night at a friend's, and I’m too cheap to get a hotel room. FML
Today, my tiny apartment flooded. My family lives out of state and the few friends I have all gave me B.S. excuses for why I can't stay over for a few nights. I'm so broke this month that I'll probably have to hit up my psycho ex. FML
Today, I learned that repairing my car will cost more than it's worth. I'm barely making it paycheck to paycheck and I had to sleep in that car several nights this week after getting thrown out of my sister's house. Now I need a room AND a car. FML
Today, and since I got frustrated at my wife as she was harping on at me, yet again, a few months ago, and I told her to shut the fuck up for the first time ever in our 25 year marriage, I’ve been sleeping on the sofa. I’m thinking of changing my address to Sofa, Fireplace Road, Living Room Town. FML
Today, I’m in a polyamorous relationship with my husband and another woman. She has anger issues and has been very abusive to me, and finally told my husband she wants to break up with me. Not him... just me. She’s still sleeping in our bed with him, and I’m sleeping on the couch. FML
Today, I got better sleep in my 30-year-old compact car with it being 40 degrees outside than I did in my bed. Got something to look forward to, as I'll be homeless soon. FML
Today, I decided to break up with my girlfriend after I got home and realised I was happier sat in my car on the street than I would be if I went inside and had to put up with her whining and her two spoiled daughters for even one more day. So now I’m happy, but also homeless. FML
Today, I moved in with my parents because I can't afford to live on my own. I now pay 100% of the bills and can't leave because I can't save to replace my stolen/totaled car. I also can't drop my mask at home because 33 is apparently to old to be autistic, and I'm so tired and burnt out. I'm also not allowed to sleep. FML
Today, not only did my ex-wife take everything in our divorce, my most recent lottery ticket was off by only one number, I would have won millions and she wouldn’t have been entitled to a penny. Oh well, back to sleeping in my caravan, which is all I have left. FML
Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML
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Top comments
Feedmyaddiction5 14
That sucks! You should just go crazy and accuse her of sleeping with every guy in the state
every1luvsboners 11
So just drive around masturbating furiously until you get arrested. At least then you'll get 3 meals and a man to snuggle with.
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Comments (129)
sammyjanette 17
Come on now, you married her. You had to have realized that she was a bit of a nutter before the big event. Here's a hint OP, when you guys were dating and she wanted to know what you were doing every moment of the day...it was not because she loved you so much that she couldn't bare to be away from you. It was because she's an insane control freak. Good luck with that. ;)
miker1000 0
No one gives any ***** in the world.
mondayna 3
Bro is that from an experience? Haha
farhil 14
65, shut up. You have not posted a single comment that hasn't been buried or thumbed down a lot. And obviously you give enough of a **** to post that in the first place.
s1ckpup 0
OP better grow some balls and man up. Show your wife who's boss. Don't let her take away your manhood.
marisadc79 0
Ditch the bitch seriously that's crazy
roseXthorns 8
The car is NOT comfortable. Sleep on the couch... Unless she is guarding the front door with weapons, he should be fine.
kei1108 13
Then just separate and get a motel room. Don't be embarrassed. If they are really your friends, they will support and encourage you. Don't be afraid! Do the right thing! Leave gracefully (without you yelling.) and maturely. Again, have courage!!!
YummiGummi 0
You should get revenge and actually sleep with every woman in the state.
chenry1 4
That's what I say.
LilysTillie 7
Completely with you on that!! Would give OP a place to stay, other than the car ;)
pottymouthpanda 0
Maybe you should see a marriage counselor, but you really oughta talk to a friend of yours for some help
keepingitnasty 15
If you did have a girlfriend on the side, you would have a place to stay.
sarahbear430 0
That's a good point. At this point, OP should just get a girlfriend for that benefit alone.
ohSNAPyall 27
Or OP could at least bring up that point with his wife.
sarahbear430 0
Oh, ya, that's actually a good idea, too. Lol
deequu 20
Why don't you get her a psychiatrist appointment?
swinglifeaway123 8
HahaHahaHahaHahaHahaHaha