Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML
Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML
Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML
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Top comments
xX504DBXx 0
man... not the hot dogs. looks like he's just gonna have to resort to ramen. hopefully he doesn't **** that up too.
redbluegreen 41
Idiots, obviously.
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Comments (114)
stephanie911_fml 0
Wieners!
jonathanpwns 0
Comments that are simple/stupid like yours make me chuckle everytime. that's a good thing, not sure how it comes out though because i said stupid :p
ErikaaLauren 0
im thinking he needs to switch to hamburgers ....or pizza rolls microwaves don't use fire lol sorry bro
AceArctic 4
While that's true, my sister managed to catch ours on fire. Twice. -.-
MaJiN_fml 2
probably blonde as well
Faleni 4
op helloooo! either A. start making the hot dogs your self B. teach the roommate how to do it or C. stop bitching ydi for letting it happen 4 times!! lol just sayin!
mamamiaaa_fml 12
okay after the second fire shouldn't the roommate be banned from cooking? or even the third. and hot dogs just be banned because they're so dangerous. ps hot dogs = crap. it's all the crappy parts of the animal. only times it's even a little good is when you put a lot of other crap on it to drown out the taste. but yeah don't eat em anymore.
glitterysnails 7
LOL don't you just boil hotdogs?
SomePinkTape 0
lol haha I see how that can happen. My sister tried to make a grilled cheese sammich once and ended up burning the bread and not even melting the cheese.
brootalxkeni 0
lol she sucks that bad?
sallen0046 4
Why would you chose to continue living with someone who has set the house on fire not one, but three times before? Especially considering they've done so trying to complete a task most children are capable of mastering. Either move out, get a new roommate, or don't complain when everything you own eventually goes up in flames.
DethbyFML 0
can she/he insert them cold?