Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML
Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML
Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML
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Top comments
xX504DBXx 0
man... not the hot dogs. looks like he's just gonna have to resort to ramen. hopefully he doesn't **** that up too.
redbluegreen 41
Idiots, obviously.
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Comments (114)
Howljerk 0
This is a weak FML
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
why call them hotdogs if they aren't gonna set shit on fire. might as well call them bitchdogs then.
naximus93 0
Time for a new roommate OP! Maybe get a chef next time ;)
WaitWut22 1
well then u should be cooking him everything lol
ruby84 1
and? smoke alarm, no (life *******) moment really. my friend's child just died of brain tumor, my boyfriend is cheating on me & my mom is suffering from life-threatening disease.. yet I don't bitch & complain nearly as much as you just did!
BadasS14 0
uhh FYL??
itz_towelie 6
well atleast now you guys have a fire to roast more hotdogs?
ruby84 1
you can easily burn them if you leave them on the BBQ for too long (I know through personal experience)
Jess_4602 0
Wow. That takes skill. It's a hot dog.
novair 5
Hot!
sourgirl101 29
I always boil my hotdogs in beer! Yummy! It's pretty bad when you can't even cook hotdogs.