Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part? He was by himself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML
Today, I just received the king-sized bed I'd ordered. My boyfriend moved out two days ago when we broke up. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML
Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
Today, my boyfriend are I are staying at his parents' while they are away. While having sex in their bed, the whole bed went crashing to the floor. We have no idea what to do, and we leave tomorrow. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend jumping on my bed exclaiming that he had "won the lottery." He broke the bed. Turns out he only won £15.80. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
Palmela Handerson likes it rough.
teamlightskin 14
How in the world did he manage to do that??
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Comments (92)
Pstraka6 20
How are you going to 'break' the news to your family?
ZeroPath5 16
Well...you can still keep the pieces to the bed, but you have to admit, a 150 year old bed would have given out eventually. It was just given out in an unexpected way... FYL
perdix 31
He needs to teach the guys in your family how to spank the monkey properly. If you're doing it right, you give up on beds and just sleep on a mattress on a concrete floor!
SocialAmethyst 20
He might break his back.
slappygecko 21
Breaking Bed
heyyitsemilia 11
Is this supposed to be a reference to Breaking Bad?
ZeroPath5 16
Do you really even have to ask that question...?
ManInTheMachine 20
No, it's a reference to the TV show Breaking Bed, where a teacher diagnosed with cancer starts earning money under the table by selling illegal broken beds, with the help of one of his students. Obviously.
vintaqe 28
Season 2 "coming" next fall.
elenaunlucky 10
was he edward cullen in his dream ...sounds like hes a fan of breaking dawn......
queerdragon 20
No, Twilight (and religion) are like a penis. You can put glitter on it, make it sparkle, but we are going to have a problem when you wave the three inches around saying its gonna change my life.
a_lyrical_ass 3
You, I like you. You have just made my day, #58.
SpaceRaptor 8
He just took the gold medal in the masturbation Olympics. As men we can learn from him
jessica53139 10
He must've been heavy
gameover18 17
Holy shit did he go super saiyan on himself or what?
BunnyRose 11
good luck explaining that to your family.
Enslaved 38
"And if you can't be with the one you love, honey Love the one you're with" (In this case-- he was in love with himself)