Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
visage 0
how the hell do you know what good is? just be happy someone spent the money to feed your dumb ass, and spent the time to **** you.
jchansfan 0
YOU TOOK A CHICKEN INTO THE BEDROOM!?! o_O'
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Comments (115)
Midnight_Dawn 0
Yay for slightly retarded people
valmont_fml 0
I recommend actually communicating with each other; If you can't tell each other what you like, the relationship probably won't go very well in the long run.
BaBiiSpAnKy821 0
its ok sweetie i lost my virginty in the woods with a douche bag who ended up kicking my ass first day of school and callin me a ***** (:
Bodwad 0
I think most people I know thought their "First time" wasnt very good or just a plain mistake. Dont worry about it, trust me it gets better and better :o)
TehOnionUser 0
Um, hellooo, the FIRST time, you know? The FIRST time usually hurts and SUCKS, unlike in the romantic American movies. Unless you are a lesbian.=3
superkitten_fml 0
Majority of first times suck. And you should have worded you post differently, now everyone thinks you have a chicken fetish. :)
bostonfan 0
you had ******* better not be dissing on chicken
latina_daner3709 0
haha sorry your guy didnt know how to put it down haha sex with a woman is always better, for future reference ;]
windchimes098 0
sounds like a Seinfeld sketch
GreenEyedMonsta 0
Damn it sucks to think you've been holding on to your virginity for so long... then you gave it up for a chicken dinner AND the sex sucked