Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
visage 0
how the hell do you know what good is? just be happy someone spent the money to feed your dumb ass, and spent the time to **** you.
jchansfan 0
YOU TOOK A CHICKEN INTO THE BEDROOM!?! o_O'
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Comments (115)
wildcatman 0
Haha.. the way you worded that I thought for a second you having sex with a chicken was better than with him.. haha.. gross......
netbeui435 3
that's weird, you sound like a ****.
kindness 0
wow you're slack. sounds like you have a nice guy. sex shouldn't matter. and you certainly shouldn't judge it on your first time. give it time for both of you to feel comfortable and get to know what feels good. you don't deserve to be treated well.
Serial_Killer 0
That must be some bloody good chicken then.... or your just too high standard.
omghehehe 0
For females, 1st time is never what u think it will be. Don't worry. You and your BF need to learn your body better. That takes patience, time, and experience :) Good luck and have fun safely experimenting ;) In the meantime, you can always eat more chicken :>
Jamin4Guitar 0
Wow, talk about being a bitch. Hardly any girls have a good first time, and the chance of it being his fault is ridiculously close to slim-to-none. Just put all the blame on him, why don't you? Who's to say he wasn't a little bit disappointed, too?
dreamer892 0
it's your first time. how would you know if it was good or not!?
Twitch04 0
You're being very rude and ungrateful. Almost no girls have a good first time. And you just put all the blame on him. And to the people saying everyone dissing her are virgins, you're being just as stupid as she is. You're probably just defending her because you're just as much of a selfish bitch.
Twitch04 0
That may be so, but it doesn't change the fact.
KWifey305 0
stop being a bitch and give him a break
Ninjaface 0
So if this fml is about your losing your virginity, how could you know how both the chicken and your boyfriend are in bed? Now that's a freaky threesome.