Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
visage 0
how the hell do you know what good is? just be happy someone spent the money to feed your dumb ass, and spent the time to **** you.
jchansfan 0
YOU TOOK A CHICKEN INTO THE BEDROOM!?! o_O'
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (115)
theLuscious 2
you don't even know what good is, you lost your virginity to him.
skiierbabe 4
The first time sucks, don't worry bout it :)
melissarxy1 3
To be fair, maybe that was some REALLY good chicken. Yeah, the first time sucks. Consider yourself lucky, you could be like me and experience 2 months of horribly painful sex before it starts feeling good.
tamoodielovesmar 1
well, it depends how good the chicken is.....
sethu9211 3
Why don't you date with your favorite CHICKEN ??!!
teeniexo 5
the first time is never good. what a bitch.
jroxursox1 10
Ok fun fact. Your first time having sex is usually painful and unsatisfying. Your body is taking a serious beating for the first time and it is almost "scared" so just be patient and try again.
udeserveditbro69 0
Hey ! Just be quiet ! At least you got some , so don't complain.
Cloudberry 10
Yeah you probably just laid there like a dead fish so you can't blame the poor guy.
pochyfliesaway 4
OP that's kind of a bitchy thing to just post out there is it not? Don't be incredibly ****** up to him; posting this is like stripping his manhood.