Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
visage 0
how the hell do you know what good is? just be happy someone spent the money to feed your dumb ass, and spent the time to **** you.
jchansfan 0
YOU TOOK A CHICKEN INTO THE BEDROOM!?! o_O'
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Comments (115)
xTheLittleLadx 0
First times always suck you obviously don't know what "good" sex is yet. Practice makes perfect!
jordynf10 0
Really???? ummmmm thats quite ungrateful of you. sure chicken is yummy but that's mean. i hope your boyfriend sees this FML story and dumps your ass
bored690 0
you're a virgin how the **** would u know, maybe it's you who are shit
stoicxconvo 0
lol
Howdyplz 2
It DOES get better, first time= really awkward. Just be grateful the chicken was good. It couldv'e been worse... the chicken and sex could've sucked.
Greenroom 0
lol what a snob.
xKoga 0
I'm sure the chicken was better than you also, snob.
misfit3332 15
Um how would you know?! You have nothing to compare it to!!! jeez! give him a break!
XxLadyBuGxX 0
chicken IS a very hard bird to compete with. fyl.
aimziie 0
First, your first time is never gonna be great. Second, He probably tried his best, and was really nice to bring you out on a romantic dinner, which I assume he paid for. Third, it probably wasn't great for him either cos you're inexperienced, so don't think it's just you who felt the chicken was better. Last, It gets better overtime. Try not to be so ungrateful.
Brandosyn 0
Agreed. OP sex with a virgin is one of those things that sounds way better in theory than it is in reality. Hell, most women lay there like a dead fish and have idea what to do their first dozen or so times a guy is putting it to them. Give it some time, and tell him what gets you off.