Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
visage 0
how the hell do you know what good is? just be happy someone spent the money to feed your dumb ass, and spent the time to **** you.
jchansfan 0
YOU TOOK A CHICKEN INTO THE BEDROOM!?! o_O'
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Comments (115)
bubblylovr 0
I can see it now tonight I took my girlfriend out for a really romantic dinner. later we had sex. she then told me the chicken was better than I was. jerk
markshot 0
your such a **** you shallow SHALLOW person
FML_FYL_88 0
my god! you guys are ******! I complained about my first time, granted not in this forum but I bet no girl can say they didn't tell anyone about their first time. leave the poor girl alone and if it's fake, she was obviously trying to be funny. if not she is not a **** and everyone calling her that are probably jealous they can't get laid
Digithead 0
Too bad you didn't have your first time with a guy who was more interested in sharing mutual pleasures rather than a boy who wanted to bust your cherry. As to the boys who told you rhe guy did you a favor, they do not know or appreciate the gift a woman gives when she trusts him enough to give him her virginity.
monster_tamer 11
^ AGREED.
WonderBlunder 0
*****
lolhaha118118 0
you put a chicken up your ******?
FoundManyLemons 0
Practice. It gets better. And if it doesn't show improvement, talk to a professional. With him. And if that flops, DTMFA, b/c that's all you can do.
ladiesman14 0
same thang here. i took my date to a sushi place. the raw tuna smelled and tasted better than my girls vag.
xApril 0
Shut up, newbie. It's never pleasurable the first few times. The tone of your FML was so prissy that I wish I could revoke your sex privileges..
kindness 0
agreed. you're being really rude. it's not like he's got a bad personality. he's probably nice and caring and respectful. THAT should be all that matters in the first place.
GatorBites 0
A romantic dinner and you order chicken?