Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
visage 0
how the hell do you know what good is? just be happy someone spent the money to feed your dumb ass, and spent the time to **** you.
jchansfan 0
YOU TOOK A CHICKEN INTO THE BEDROOM!?! o_O'
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Comments (115)
0nly4Ever 0
Wow. Total bitch move right there.
iztrollinnn 0
Wtf. You say you lost your virginity, and now you're complaining about the guy? What if he was a virgin too, pardon him for being un-experienced. If he wasn't one, you'd be on here bitching about how you got played by a man-*****. Go screw the chicken instead of him if it was so good.
fuzz97 23
you put the chicken in your vag?
greendaygirl112 0
the first time always sucks ur not used to each others bodies just give it time
apfunction 0
I highly doubt you know what good is if it was your first time. first time is usually not that good, especially not for girls from what I've heard.
bcbro27 0
holy shit you ****** a chicken?
Chocolate_Chunk 2
"eating his meat" is only a figure of speech, you're not supposed to bite it off
xGabri3L 3
You were a virgin, how do you know.. Fatass.
tualoina 0
First time always sucks I hear. The boys r probably pissed because they r just now finding this out.
claiiire_fml 17
So you ****** him AND the chicken? I don't wanna know what you do for Thanksgiving.