Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
visage 0
how the hell do you know what good is? just be happy someone spent the money to feed your dumb ass, and spent the time to **** you.
jchansfan 0
YOU TOOK A CHICKEN INTO THE BEDROOM!?! o_O'
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Comments (115)
wellthatsucks 0
uh...I'm sorry????? F your sex life then.
brivielle 15
.....
FlaminYawn 0
my 1st time was with my teacher, which is weird cuz I was homeschooled.
usernamesarehard 4
Hahahaha. Bet she taught you everything you know eh?
Erindub 0
The first time is always a bummer. No worrires and not an FML.
PkSk8ter 0
Dumbass be glad he toke your slutty ass out & then spended more to **** you! Ydi
meso222 8
Learn to spell man, you're 19! Also... Man badge Revoked.
spazz666 18
Spended. Wow u aced english class didn't u?!? And how is she a ****, ***** or a ***** if it was her first time?!?!?! Seriously ppl? Wow.
emilialoriana_fml 0
i agreee with ya #13 , totally . LOL!
eATT 0
Oh the irony...
emilialoriana_fml 0
LOL at you girl . i really don't think that its your first time. how would you know if a guy is good or not if you haven't experienced anything, its your first time . C'mon! Your story is pathetic . hah
coolsteve 0
you know what they say smells like fish, tastes like chicken he tasted chicken twice that night. personally i wouldnt agree thiugh, just tastes like urine to me
joemk2012 0
bitch
Njtorres 0
lol most of the ppl here are virgins I can tell
john443 5
There is nothing wrong with being a virgin.
Avenging_Angel 0
Are you implying that you had a threesome with a chicken?