Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
visage 0
how the hell do you know what good is? just be happy someone spent the money to feed your dumb ass, and spent the time to **** you.
jchansfan 0
YOU TOOK A CHICKEN INTO THE BEDROOM!?! o_O'
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Comments (115)
Reality_bites 14
Maybe the OP was expecting more because she was "saving it" for someone special or because she was told by her girlfriends how good it is and then was disappointed when it didnt seem to measure up. We dont have information as to how old the OP is. Agreed though that the OP probably shouldnt be sharing this information with the world until she has tried it again a few more times.
Rota 0
YDI for being such a judgemental *****.
meso222 8
Man badge revoked! Reason: innability to respect women, use of derogatory terms for purpose of feeling better about never going to have sex. Never re-apply.
brivielle 15
#15 am pretty sure u r a virgin with a tiny weenie. Men with a healthy self esteem respect women. OP has the right to expect more and be disappointed when she gets less than she was saving herseld for.
Einstein714 0
at least HE got satisfied
blah123blah 0
Bring the chicken with you next time you have sex, then it will be more enjoyable.
Fluffy_homan 0
well if it was that terrible, imagine how the poor guy felt screwing an inexperienced and ungrateful bitch? are you sure you don't have some form of ********** fetish?
ruben7467 0
I don't think this was your first time. fake!!!!!!
PhillyFox 0
Not an FML. More like real life. Besides, it was your first time. It's never that great your first time.
Bluemelodee 0
omg people are pretty mean on here! but it's funny as shit! anyways, ur first time always sucks, but as u have sex more u will see sometimes it's awesome and some times it will suck more than the first time.
tayzer_fml 0
By the way everyone here is lashing out at her, I'd say none of you amount to much more than dinner fowl in any of your sexual performances.
bugmenotmofo 34
I guarantee I can outfuck a chicken any day of the week.
monster_tamer 11
Good comeback. =) I'm getting sick of all these deragatory comments... Honestly, if the sex is bad, then talk and try to find out what works. Not that I'd have experience or anything (I'm fifteen) but I'd imagine spending time feeling for my partner's body long before we ever have sex. Makes it easier and less awkward, and probably better too.
waterynuggets 0
ROFLMAO @ #24 OP it was your first time FFS. What did you expect, to see god? Lulz.
Ariel_Sian 0
I