Today, after a small fight with my girlfriend, I started to miss her, so I typed her name into Google on a whim. Surprisingly, I find a link to a blog in which the owner describes his ongoing effort to seduce my girl. During times she told me she was alone. Thanks babe. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
Today, I woke up to find my girlfriend not sleeping next to me. I go to my car and found a plethora of printed screenshots of me commenting things like, “So hot babe”, “Beautiful! I’d tap that” and other compliments on my female friends’ pictures on Facebook. My girlfriend’s not picking up her phone. FML
Today, I found out one of my girlfriend's recent Google searches was, "Should I admit to cheating or just dump him?" FML
Today, my obsessive stalker of an ex found my girlfriend on Facebook and sent her a message saying just ":)". For some reason I'll never understand, she took this as a sign that I'd just slept with my ex. Now I'm single, and my ex is probably planning her next move. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML
Today, according to my girlfriend's instant messenger, which she left open on my laptop, I am her rough shag on the side while she searches for a guy who is husband material that her parents will approve of. I guess the engagement ring in my bag is going back to the shop. FML
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
Today, I discovered my girlfriend's secret blog, where all she does is vent about how much she cheats on me and hates me, but will never leave me because she can’t afford to. Her followers love and support these actions. FML
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Top comments
WiseGuy79 14
OP just reply on that blog and talk about her raging herpes infection haha
perdix 31
The owner of the blog was dumb enough to use your girlfriend's full, real name in his posts? He made it too easy for a cyber-stalker like you.
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Comments (94)
WiseGuy79 14
OP just reply on that blog and talk about her raging herpes infection haha
friday170 0
WIN!
MAGNAVOX 0
YDI for getting in a small fight, rather than a huge fight.
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
So why are you blaming her? Hack the creep's blog.
perdix 31
The owner of the blog was dumb enough to use your girlfriend's full, real name in his posts? He made it too easy for a cyber-stalker like you.
ANTLink19 4
what's her name?
xFaust_fml 12
Why do people think it's creepy? If they had a fight, maybe he didn't want to call her just yet. And sometimes you do weird things. I think he just typed her name to see it written, without expexting to have results of HER. I googled my friends and a few of my friends, to see if we were on google, once. Doesn't make me a stalker. There is something I don't get, does "at times" mean "before they were together", or "whilst they were together, on days/evenings his girlfriend told him she had spent on her own"? I won't vote on that story. Not enough details (did the girlfriend go along with the flirting?), nor clear enough.
DocBastard 40
Faust, way to go using "whilst" - I've started a grassroots movement to bring "whilst" back into the American English lexicon. The more Americans are exposed to it, the higher the likelihood they'll use it! More more more!
failblorg 0
: | How'd you find my blog?!
lexibabyx3 0
woow.
parasword 0
YDI for driving her away from you.
Hughmadd 0
How do you know it was even his fault?? Oh yeah, man gets blamed for everything here--sorry, forgot.
parasword 0
Exactly. The man's always supposed to let the woman win the fights. That's just how things are, and if you don't understand it you don't deserve a girlfriend.
RedPillSucks 33
OP. There could be dozens of people around the world with the same name. I googled myself (ok, that sounds wierd) and found at least 8 people with the same first and last name, and 3 with the same middle initials. Perhaps next time you miss your girl, you should just talk to her. Does the blog say that the guy was successful? Just because someone makes an attempt at her doesn't mean she was going for it.
yazzy101 11
Yer he should trust her more and ask her about it
usagiii 7
maybe at times where she was "alone" she was actually with the other dude. so that would mean that he did succeed with his evil plan.
aardvarkish 17
Your intuition and deductive reasoning astound me! You're psychic, right?
usagiii 7
obviously I am, no one else figured it out, logic is simple isn't it?