Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, after suffering probably my worst night of appendicitis, which consisted of vomiting, diarrhea, and going to the doctor, starving, only to find out a couple of hours later in the hospital ER that I'm allergic to penicillin and close to dying. Again. FML
Today, I have a tooth infection that's spread to my jaw and ear. It hurts so badly that I'm practically in tears. Today's also the day I found out I'm allergic to the medication I was prescribed. Everything hurts, I'm covered in hives, and I can't stop throwing up. FML
Today, I'm recovering from a urinary tract infection. The infection made me have to pee constantly. Now the antibiotics I'm taking for it are giving me the shits instead. FML
Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns, and it hurts to sit. FML
Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML
Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. I happen to be allergic to all types of pain medication. FML
Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
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Top comments
drakem 7
aw that sucks
OnlyAvailableID 28
That's gotta be painful. FYL, OP, quite unfortunate series of events.
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Comments (142)
TROLLZ 0
YDI for being a girl.
Hanicake 0
I hope you're being sarcastic, #125...
ladycoyote107 0
where did all the comments go? Including mine?
ladycoyote107 0
where did all the comments go? Including mine?
m3lyc 18
One word: Enema. Basically you insert a nozzle into your anus, and a gravity-feed bag pumps water into your colon. Instant relief from constipation, no side effects and you feel WONDERFUL afterwards. I'm not joking, it's very refreshing. Try it, you won't regret it. You should be able to get an enema kit from a drug store, if not try ebay.
Kawaiichan42 3
124, I was being sarcastic.
usmcbunny 0
My girlfriend and I tried to wash my pet rats the other day. I'm severely allergic to them, in an odd way. I can be around them, kiss them, put their fur in my face, etc., and I'm fine... But, when they scratch me, I break out in hives around the cut. My rats are afraid of water, so during the bath, they clawed their ways up my arms, and at one point, the older one grabbed my ear. They hurt to scratch, but also hurt to be left alone. Stupid allergies.
tprincess 0
tmi my friend. but I'm very sorry you needed surgery
Warriorwolf1114 0
@128 Most discusting thing I've read today, (no offense.) And why would you buy one on eBay? What if it's been used?
meanmachine511 0
that's the worst
fuckanshit 0
not gonna lie ur life suc