Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, after suffering probably my worst night of appendicitis, which consisted of vomiting, diarrhea, and going to the doctor, starving, only to find out a couple of hours later in the hospital ER that I'm allergic to penicillin and close to dying. Again. FML
Today, I have a tooth infection that's spread to my jaw and ear. It hurts so badly that I'm practically in tears. Today's also the day I found out I'm allergic to the medication I was prescribed. Everything hurts, I'm covered in hives, and I can't stop throwing up. FML
Today, I'm recovering from a urinary tract infection. The infection made me have to pee constantly. Now the antibiotics I'm taking for it are giving me the shits instead. FML
Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns, and it hurts to sit. FML
Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML
Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. I happen to be allergic to all types of pain medication. FML
Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
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Top comments
drakem 7
aw that sucks
OnlyAvailableID 28
That's gotta be painful. FYL, OP, quite unfortunate series of events.
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Comments (142)
wriptidez 0
get better soon
pinkpillowz 0
TMI TMI!! jk
eatsleepjb 8
At first I thought this said Tim..
Tankd4life 0
that's definitely the ***** or in your case not. try some Karol syrup, that will clean you out
sallen0046 4
You're not supposed to leave the hospital before you have a bowel movement.
imhowie 2
I don't see why this girl thinks it's so weird that she hasn't pooped. Girls don't poop, so it sounds normal to me.
sweetfashionista 2
after my stomach surgery i couldnt pee for a week. it was horrible. come to find out it was the dilaudid that was doing this. when i quit taking pain meds, i was able to pee again. no pain meds meant a painful recovery but at least i was able to pee.
fyllmao 0
aw that sucks sorry op
princess_88 0
I thought it was bad when I had abdominal surgery and got my period! I'm sorry OP, FYL!
ladycoyote107 0
believe it or not, that's going on too. It's the trifecta of abdominal pain.
funkandspacejunk 2
Yikes, I'm so sorry! I know it sounds gross, but try a teaspoon of olive oil in the morning and at night (you can try stirring it into tea if that makes it easier to take). It's pretty easy on the body and should kick start your digestive system. Hope you feel better soon, OP!
Dmb15freeweezy 0
do you think someone cares about you takin a shit.