Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, after suffering probably my worst night of appendicitis, which consisted of vomiting, diarrhea, and going to the doctor, starving, only to find out a couple of hours later in the hospital ER that I'm allergic to penicillin and close to dying. Again. FML
Today, I have a tooth infection that's spread to my jaw and ear. It hurts so badly that I'm practically in tears. Today's also the day I found out I'm allergic to the medication I was prescribed. Everything hurts, I'm covered in hives, and I can't stop throwing up. FML
Today, I'm recovering from a urinary tract infection. The infection made me have to pee constantly. Now the antibiotics I'm taking for it are giving me the shits instead. FML
Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns, and it hurts to sit. FML
Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML
Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. I happen to be allergic to all types of pain medication. FML
Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
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Top comments
drakem 7
aw that sucks
OnlyAvailableID 28
That's gotta be painful. FYL, OP, quite unfortunate series of events.
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Comments (142)
Tweety122888 0
wow people can be so frigging ignorant. what do u think we girls have our buttholes for?! god u dumbass people drive me crazy. how about you think before you post.
kellinowlin 1
boo hoo!!! after having my first son I didn't poop for 3 weeks and ended up allergic to the laxative all over including the stitches in my downstairs area from having my baby and still didn't poop!!! complain then!!!
Kawaiichan42 3
96: Didn't you know our assholes are only for anal sex? This guy is in for a rude awakening when he moves in with a woman.
milo2113 0
hahahaah
Samko_chan 5
Man OP must be super gassy.
magenLOVESyou 0
haha ew that sucks:) hope you feel better:)
teebabyy 0
I haven't pooped in abouta week.. y.? cause I'm in collge fml'!
MonaLeFae 0
OMG!!! by chance is this my bff from texas??? lol
ladycoyote107 0
No, I'm from California, sorry. Love Texas, though. Do you really know another person having this problem? poor thing... I guess I'm glad it's not just me.
ladycoyote107 0
No, I'm from California, sorry. Love Texas, though. Do you really know another person having this problem? poor thing... I guess I'm glad it's not just me.
ladycoyote107 0
No, I'm from California, sorry. Love Texas, though. Do you really know another person having this problem? poor thing... I guess I'm glad it's not just me.
marinelli69 0
omg lol this is so f ing funny
drakem 7
Wow 99 has made me give up what hope I'd had for the Internet race.